I lost my best friend to an attack which killed him. We were out celebrating the birth of my child. We finished the evening and went different ways home. He was attacked and killed.Although this has been 13 years now I’m still struggling with it all. Anger and resentment continues to creep into my life. I’m embarrassed with the way I deal with things these days. I feel like I’m losing control. It seems every time I find myself having a good night I must ruin it.
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Hi Wolves, I think you’ve done the right thing by coming on this site and talking about your situation. Talking and acknowledging that you need to address the problem is the first step in coming to terms with such an awful tragedy of your friend. I really hope you find the strength you need, anger and bitterness has a habit of consuming us if not addressed. Maybe you should find a group in your area to talk about how you feel.
Good luck
Tom
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I’m so very sorry. I know the feeling of anger and losing control is unbearable. Please remember, what happened to your friend is NOT your fault.
Hi @Wolves1. I recognise how things from the past revisit us regularly, beating us up and destroying all our efforts at finding any peace. I’ve been there.
The answer for me has been practicing Self Compassion, an element of Mindfulness. The principle is to treat ourselves with the same kindness we would treat our best friend if they were in the same situation. There is a lady who is a renowned expert in this, it takes work to achieve it, but she makes it simple. Have a Google for Self Compassion/Kristin Neff. You can find stuff on YouTube as well.
Once I “got it”, my demons disappeared. Good Luck.
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