It’s been a little over a year since I lost my dad very suddenly. I’m only 26 and I can’t help but feel so angry. What did we do to deserve this? My mom now has to grow old without the love of her life of 37 years. Me and my sister were robbed of our best friend. He passed 3 months before his first grand child was born. He was a hard working, kind and generous man who helped everyone who asked at the drop of a hat and he was robbed of his years. How is that fair? Why do rapist and serial killers get to grow old in jail when they’re horrendous people and good men like my dad are taken from us. How can god leave awful men here and take away the good. Heaven doesn’t need my dad as much as I do.
I’m never going to find comfort or peace in it and now the rest of my life is surrounded by hurt. How do people make sense of it.
Me and my sister have the exact same thoughts as you! All these horrible people in the world and our incredible loved, kind souls are taken away. If I am ever out I even find myself looking at strangers thinking why do you get to be here with your family continuing to make memories - and I know that sounds horrible! The colour has really been drained from our world and I’ll forever be damaged. It’s a real struggle to find joy in things without the immense guilt of knowing how much they would have loved to have been part of it
Sending you lots of love and strength xx
I totally feel your anger. I hope you are feeling ok.
I go through cycles of anger, acceptance and despair. We lost our mum suddenly and I just know it could have been prevented with better care from doctors.
Exactly!! It so hard seeing strangers happy with their families when ours were taken from us. Im a completely different person from when he was alive.
I think as well it just when my friends and boyfriends tell me how strong and together I am because its not that I want to be I just have no other choice. I would love nothing more than to wallow in bed all day and cry and be sad and just miss him but that isn’t an option.
I try and look at the bright side and remember that I still had him for 26 years and I got to experience a lot of firsts with him and there is some people who dont even get that long but then i think fuck that I dont have to be positive and look on the bright side of losing my dad there isn’t any.
I just want him back
I hope you are okay and if you want a rant or someone to talk to im all ears <3 Sending you love and strength <3 x
I can relate to your post. It will be a year in November since my dad died and I still feel angry and confused about it. My dad died two months after a cancer diagnosis. He is the best father, my parents were married for 50 years and my nephew was only two years old at the time, who dad only met once because of all the COVID stuff that went on. It all feels very unfair and unjust.
I was 36 when my dad died, so ten years older than you but I still feel too young to not have my dad. Dad was 70 but you would never know it. He was very fit and active with a great mind.
When my dad died and even now, to some extent, i can’t help but see an old person and think that I’ll never get to see my dad like that. My uncle died at 86, what I would give for another 16 years with my dad. I know people in their 60’s who still have their parents. On the flip side, I saw him everyday, we had adventures and there was nothing left unsaid. My dad is great and we love each other unconditionally so I am fortunate, but the grief clouds that. Today I feel very sad, I miss my dad so much, today I just feel like he’s been taken and I don’t know why.
It’s terrible to lose a parent and it hurts everyday. I feel like a completley different person. Someone on this site said that I don’t have to make peace with it and that resonated with me. I’ll never be ok with the fact that my dad isn’t here but I’ll keep going in the hopes that I can find some joy again.
Im so sorry for your loss. I dont think there is any age where we are ever ready to lose our parents. We always need our them. I like that, I find with grief people talk a lot about accepting it etc to finally move on and maybe accepting that Ill never be okay with it is my version and that is okay.
I completely understand how you feel, my dad was grand! he was still working, he had a construction company and was a hands on boss got involved in all the day to day work. He went for walks every evening with the dogs. I spoke to him on Sunday evening and told him I had just booked flights to Rome (his favourite city!) and then on monday morning at 7am he was gone.
He was supposed to come visit me in London (i had just moved there) and he never got to see my apartment. He didn’t get to meet his first grand child or walk me and my sister down the aisle. He doesn’t get to meet my amazing boyfriend who treats me the way he only could of dreamed. And I know they would be best friends!
Just so hard to find the rationale or comfort in it. The only thing that makes me feel even slightly better is that I would take this pain for all those amazing years we had together. We have done fun holidays, carpool karaokes, pub nights, games nights, adventures in the mountains, dinners together every sunday. Im glad i have such an amazing dad that makes missing him so hard.
26 amazing years I wouldn’t trade for anything. It just hurts he has to live on in my memories and stories
I think no matter what age you lose a parent it is still just as painful and it messes everyone up a little. Sending you lots of love and strength. We talk about my dad all the time and try to keep little parts of him around. My dad was obsessed with minced pies at Christmas and whenever they are mentioned or come up we say “Ah dads fave” keeping those little things alive. Well this helps me
