Hi All,
I lost my mum in 2023 due to stomach cancer and missing her terribly just now, got married in July and ever since coming back from honeymoon, I’ve missed her even more and just want a hug from her. I’ve been having terrible bouts of anxiety and anger, but my anger seems to be focused on the people that did me wrong years ago, is this normal and is this grief? I keep replaying past drama and raging about this. I’m not sure if i’m focusing more on this/them to direct my anger away from losing my mum, which i’m finding so unfair at the moment. I also lost my three dogs within 9 months before my mum’s death and i feel like i’m just starting to grieve them now. My head is just mush and i’m trying to understand why people that have no relevance in my life are making me angry. Sorry just need to vent and get this out.
Hi @FeeBell,
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling at the moment. You’re not alone - we know lots of our members have experienced anger like this when they’re grieving. If you tap the magnifying glass at the top of the page and search, “anger”, you can read other members’ experiences.
This article may also be helpful - What Does Grief Feel Like? - Grief Support | Sue Ryder
You might be interested in our Our Online Bereavement support which includes our bereavement information, free online counselling, Grief Guide self-help service and our new Grief Coach text support.
Take good care,
Abi
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Hi there,
Yes I think this is normal. My Dad passed away about a year ago and my main symptom of grief (if indeed this is the right phrase) has been anger towards his siblings who treated him badly and offered no emotional or financial support to him or myself during his terminal illness. Both my Dad and I were wronged by these people, I’m ashamed to be related to them and I hate the lies they tell. They make out to people that they really cared and were so close to my Dad when in reality they were barely there and barely knew him. The only interest they had was whether they were going to inherit anything. Thankfully they did not. Anyway, I digress…anger is a normal part of grief, I think it varies where it is directed and a lot of the time, as horrible as it is, it is sometimes easier than feeling sad. You feel anger because you were wronged and in grief we’re all wronged in some way
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Thank you for this @Eponine i knew it but just really needed to be told it. The anger is strong and i thought i was over it years ago with these people but its crept back. I’m also finding myself asking why these horrible people are still able to enjoy life but my poor mum isn’t, its not fair. 
I understand- I feel the same way! It’s like the wrong person was taken isn’t it? And the good people suffer for some reason. I think the saying is “nice guys finish last” or something like that. I just hope karma/fate evens things out in the end.
O my god yes, this is how I feel. The wrong person taken, it feels so unfair.
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