I lost my dad recently, although he battled a short illness his sudden death was a shock, I never thought he would pass before my mum as he had been so fit and outgoing whereas my mum had health issues. I feel so guilty because I’m angry he went first. I don’t understand why I feel this way and im worried it will affect the support I need to give my mum.
@Rose91 sorry for the loss of your Dad. Grief brings many emotions to the surface so feeling angry is very normal. You can expect emotions to come and go as you process what’s happened. Don’t try and rush through or cover up how you feel. There’s a danger in trying to hide how you really feel so that you protect other grieving relatives. Everyone grieves in their own ways, some people cry a lot, others keep busy so just support each other without judgement. This forum is useful because you can post on here and be completely honest. Everyone here is trying to manage their grief and deal with loss. There’s a lot of advice and guidance available online too. When I lost my Mum in January I read a lot about grief just so I knew what I was dealing with. Take care xx
Thankyou @Rosiepink everything it just so overwhelming and as time is passing im missing him more and im getting more emotional everday. Im dreading the funeral as its getting closer. Sorry about your Mum, it must be terrible nearing the 1st anniversary x
Hi Rose, don’t feel guilty go with your feelings. Grief is a beast! I can identify with how you are feeling. We have found ourselves in the same sad situation recently except our mum has also passed away. My parents died 10 days apart! Our focus has always been on mum as she struggled with health issues for the past few years. Dad was fit with a great sense of humour. As he had good genes I guess we thought he’d be with us forever! He suddenly got a chest infection and passed away before our mum. We were all confused, shocked, devastated, angry and feel guilty for perhaps not giving him enough attention. He would always put our mums needs before his own and joke through the tough times. Losing both parents in 10 days is a real gut punch now. With mum we can try and draw some comfort from the fact that she’s no longer suffering but harder with dad.
Rayofsunshine I cant imagine what you are going through right now, its terrible losing one but to lose both in such a short space of time is unimaginable. I try to tell myself that dad is out of pain and no longer suffering but part of me is very selfish and still wants him here when I was still looking after him. We had a fantastic relationship and i miss him terribly x
Thanks Rose I am finding it very difficult at the moment. You are not selfish your feelings sound very normal especially if you spent so much time with your dad. My brother lived at home with my folks and we are very worried about him right now. I live about 2 hours away from my folks and would head back and see them when I could. Not as often as I’d liked with a young family. It’s been that way for so many years. It was home comforts with two people I loved so much x