Angry with the world

My sister and I lost my Mum to a stroke in August. She clung on to life for 10 brutal days, I sat with her everyday as she was on the end of life pathway and my sister came in when work allowed. Then earlier in November the unthinkable happened my sister was taken ill ( she was a diabetic of 30 years) she was taken into hospital and within 10 hours she had gone. She said some hurtful things to me both while sitting with Mum and afterwards when I told her how much her words had hurt me.
We have a very strained relationship with our father and in the week before she died he had dropped an emotional hand grenade into our lives about a secret half sibling we knew nothing about and we also found out he had lied about transferring our Mum’s home into my sister’s name. My sister was in emotional turmoil and humiliated by him in the last week of her life. I can’t come to terms with her loss but I am angry with the world, angry at her for saying the hurtful things, angry with my dad for making her last week so miserable and angry with my husband because it was him she said the hurtful things about. I just don’t know how to get through the anger, I’m just sitting staring at the tv or waking early and unable to get back to sleep. I’m making my husbands life miserable becasue I’m on such a short fuse.

Hi callisto1275 i know how you are feeling please don’t beat yourself up you have been though a horrible time and need to be good to yourself. I lost my husband in August and blame myself and I’m angry with the world I will never get over losing my best friend and husband.
We all say things we don’t mean expecially if we are afraid and I bet your sister was very scared and took I out on you. Hope things get better for you x

Thank you for your reply. Bereavement sucks doesn’t it? I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband, as you say, it’s hard enough coping with the loss without battling the guilt too. Your username made me smile for the first time in days, I was sent to a fancy dress competition many,many years ago dressed in newspaper poncho and hat, yes, I was Miss Print! I hope you find some comfort soon, we are all gearing up for that first Christmas and I don’t think the feelings around that help us either.

Take care