Miss him so much, the nights are the worst. He was 39. My best friend and husband. We only got married October 2022 or although we were together 12 years. I’m so angry, we just didn’t get enough time, guess there never is. I’m angry he’s gone and I’m not, I’m angry people still don’t get it. I’m angry at the platitudes. I’m just angry!! It’s nearly 6 months and I’m in despair. I still can’t believe he’s actually gone.
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So sorry @Rose2
I know exactly how you feel.
It is nearly 5 and 1/2 months for me and like you i try to keep busy during the day but find nights and weekends long and lonely. I think i am doing well but then i get a wave of grief and it hits me that he is gone and wont be back and the grief 
is back. The grief does not seem to leave us once someone passes it will br with us until it is our turn. We can no longer plan for the future and only take one day at a time.
People on this website know how we are feeling and until you have such a loss uou really dont know the heartache we suffer.
I hope you have some family or friends to support you at this hard time .
Please take care of yourself.
Lynne x
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Hi @Rose2, so sorry to hear about the passing of your husband and at such a young age, it’s truly heartbreaking. You have every right to be angry, I know I was when I lost my wife last year, still very much am at times. It does ease off, it just takes time. This site is a good place to get that out, we’re all on the same shitty journey as you, some behind you, some ahead, so we can all understand how you feel. We can’t make things any less painful but we can help each other through, hope you can find the help here that you need, I know I did.
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I’m so sorry, like the others that you are here but it’s a good place to reach out to.
When I spoke to my GP, she warned me that the 6 months mark would be hard, she didn’t say why but it was very common for people to reach out to the doctors at that time.
Personally, I think the reality begins. I’m further along that you and for me it got easier. Time doesn’t heal but it certainly allows you to adjust.
Embrace the crap days, let them happen. I put the funeral music on and cry and sing at the top of my voice. You have to let it out, if you internalise it, it could work against you. Try and stick to the now, just think about what you need to get through today, the next hour.
As @Walan said, we are all on this shit journey and we all get it and understand.
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Sorry for your loss Rose2,at a young age grief must have an extra sting to it.I was much older when I lost my wife , but it still hurts whatever age you are.
I get the anger,I think lots of widows experience that.If the feeling of having your life stolen away from you does’nt make you angry .then I don’t know what will.
When I was first deceased ,I wanted to fight the whole world .I fell out with a number of people.
Wishing you good luck.
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Made a mistake in my last post.I should have put bereaved,not deceased.Brain fog strikes again.
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I agree. The nights and weekends ate horrendous. Love to all x
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Thank you everyone for replying. I really needed to hear I’m not alone 
@Rose2 you certainly aren’t alone unfortunately the only thing that is certain in life is death but I don’t think any of us are ever ready for that and your husband was so young. You have every right to feel angry but please don’t let that anger override every thing else. Have you sought any grievance counselling? It might help
Stay strong and get help if you can, a lot of people benefit greatly by having someone who will listen and support you. They are very well trained and will help you through this