What an horrible week ive had…todays my birthday and cant dtop crying…why? Everyone so kind ive got lovely gifts.the first i opend a box of lindt chocolates and what do i do CRY.my darling H bought me these all the time but the person who bought these didnt know that how weird.
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Best wishes for your birthday. Sorry you’ve had a horrible week. Is it your first birthday without your loved one? They say the firsts are the worse but im finding the seconds are bad just highlights that our loved ones are gone . Hope you can enjoy your day as best you can. There will always be something that triggers us off its the price we pay for love.
Sending a virtual birthday cake 
x
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It’s another of those “significant dates” @ann1819 - like Christmas day or Valentines day or New Years day or Wedding Anniversary date - or any one of the 365 days in the year that was important to you and your darling husband.
They are unavoidable, sadly, and often just serve to remind us who and what we are now living without.
It’s perfectly understandable that you feel emotional and sad.
Was the horrible week to do with the approaching date or have other upsetting things happened?
I find I am far more weepy when people are “kind” to me or say nice things to me.
I had to bark at my next door neighbour “don’t ask me how I am or I shall have to stop talking to you” as every time he saw me and asked me, I would just crumble in to a sobbing mess - not that there’s anything inherently wrong with being a sobbing mess but it does make day to day functioning difficult.
I hope the rest of your day is not too traumatic and you find some peace.
I’ll send you a virtual tipple🍷to have alongside @Misprint’s cake.
Take care.
Xxx
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Awe thankyou. I haf been away last weekend so had a good time.when i came back to an empty house it hot me again guilt ect.so just cant pull myself together again.x
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So sorry @ann1819. These special days are extra tough aren’t they?
Good that you had a nice couple of days away though. You are braver than me with that one as so far I haven’t had the confidence to plan anything; I just want to stay at home.
I hope you can find some peace in your heart soon.
Hugs xxx
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Aah - I can relate to that too.
As you say, being away and having company then coming back to an empty house, means you have to get used to being on your own all over again.
I also think, we bereaved folk, subconsciously, try to keep the stiff upper lip going when we’re in company, because we don’t want to drag the mood down for others, when we’re supposed to be having a “nice” time.
So, when we do get back to our safe place, we can let it all out - even though we didn’t know we were holding it all in- if you catch my drift.
Hard as it is though, I do think it’s good for the mind, body and soul to get out and about, if you feel up to it - not everyone does, I know.
In itself it’s a sort of therapy - diversional therapy - a change of scene, with company (or not), to help focus the mind on something different and, like everything in life, the more we do it, the more we’re able to do.
It’s not easy that’s for sure.
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Yeh as the queen said … grief is the price and pay for love 
xxx
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Im sure you will get there one day.i go away every year this time in feb H used to pay for me fory birthday so i would be letting him down if i didnt go.x