Why is anniversaries/birthdays so painful💔
Last month was my Dads 1 year anniversary since he died.🥲
Today is his his birthday in heaven
At least he’s with his sisters now
Just wish more that anything he was here
Omg can’t f…stop crying the pain like someone stab you inside get this ackey feeling inside
Don’t know why feel like this I barerly knew my Dad it’s complicated
Have so much f…regrets🥲
Got candle personalised poem made for him will light tonite
Write wee msg on star/heart balloons release them❤️
Just wish this lockdown restrictions lift soon
As can’t travel can’t go anywhere
Why is anniversaries/birthdays so painful💔
You could upload the picture of the things you have done for him.
Maybe we all could use this space to upload pictures of the things we do for them
Those are such heartfelt tributes to your dad x
Yes got this candle personalised & relesed the balloons last night
Think in tears all morning yesterday
Thanks for sharing. There are tributes with the soul and heart. Hugs
Lets hope others members will share what they do for their loved ones.
I’ve been trying to share photos of the tulips I bought for mother’s day this year, but no luck so far. Mum died days before mother’s day, and at first I couldn’t even think about doing anything - it was too painful because she wouldn’t be there. I did buy her a bunch of tulips in the end, because she always loved them, and I put them in front of her photo on my windowsill.
I have also worn some earrings and a necklace of hers, because they remind me that we both loved jewellery - mostly window-shopping but we had fun looking. When I wear them I remember we shared that together.
Take care and keep posting
Thanks for sharing, maybe other time you can show things you do for your mum. It is nice you have her jewellery might that way you feel her closer to you now.
My mum died four months ago - immediately after she died I felt so close to her, as though she was always with me. Recently I’ve been feeling as thought I can’t ‘feel’ her around me - and blaming myself for being so anxious and closed off in my grief. I wouldn’t even normally describe myself as particularly spiritual but I am desperate to be able to feel my mum close to me again.
Anyway, I remembered this candle my mum had made for me when I turned 18 (I’m 36 now) - at the time, I didn’t really appreciate it, typical 18 year old, I suppose I didn’t think about what a nice personalised present it was. So it has been gathering dust in my mum’s house all that time, and I have now brought it round to my own flat. I’ve started to light it and sit in front of it while I talk to my mum. It helps me focus on her, and I find the candle light soothing.
Thankfully it is a huge candle so it won’t run out any time soon, and now I’m so grateful that my mum held on to it all this time (even though some of the little decorations have fallen off and it’s looking a bit worse for wear)
That’s such a lovely gesture @Smeats - I know what you mean about wanting to feel close to your mum. Hopefully the candle will help with that x
That is so nice
Yes lighting the candle helps
I’d like to share a story if I may. It relates to birthday anniversary.
On my Mum’s birthday my grief was overwhelming. I was not a church goer but for some reason I desperately needed to find a church to light a candle for her birthday.
I found a church - a most beautiful church with stained glass windows, that was open for private prayer that day and I lit a candle. After that I sat in the pew listening to the beautiful soft music playing and cried. Through my tears I asked God, “Is my Mum there God? Is she okay?”. Not a minute later a woman came into the church to pray too and she walked directly in front of me (it was a big church and she hadn’t needed to) wearing the same coat as my Mum had and always wore. I was stunned. And I took that to be God’s answer. I spoke to the vicar about it and she said that wasn’t a coincidence but a God-incidence!
I now go to private prayer and light a candle every week. It’s a beautiful place where I can just sit in peace with my grief.
That’s a lovely story, @Danson - I believe that was a sign from your mum, too. Whether or not you believe in God or practice a religion, I do believe we get signs from our loved ones; we just need to be open enough to see them when they come.
I’m glad that you’ve found a place that brings you some peace in your grief.
That is a lovely thought. Thank you.
Hi that is so beautiful that you manage to find some piece & that you found a. Ice church to light a candle & think of your mum
Sometimes I light a candle for my dad
But think I’m struggling desperately want to feel him near but I don’t feel he so far sway
@S47 I think you need to give yourself the space to find a place that lets you feel close to your dad.
I didn’t expect to find my place on my own living room floor sitting in front of a candle, talking to my mum, but that is what is giving me some peace at the moment. I think anywhere that lets you feel any kind of peace will open your mind and, I believe, let you feel the person you miss.
I’m sorry you’re struggling so much; all I can say is that some days really are better that others, and after the hardest of days you will find some light to help you carry on. Your dad is with you, even on the days when you can’t feel him.
On Mother’s Day this year I put daffodils on my parent’s dining table for my mum who had passed away on Christmas Day 2020.It was the first one without her and coincidentally was my birthday too! Her hospice bed had been in the dining room and so the flowers were almost placed exactly where she had died. It felt right. It’s her birthday this coming Sunday so I might just do the same again. Whatever brings us inner peace has to be a good thing