Next week it will be six years since I lost my beautiful daughter Charlotte aged 27. The anxiety has kicked in big time. I am so angry with the world. On Saturday I went to the church would she would’ve been married 12 weeks later. As soon as I walked through the door I broke down. The pain is just as raw today as it was then. I stayed for a while then the mask went back on. Some people think I should be over it by now! Seriously, they have no idea. I am not the same person any more. I do try to live my life in her memory but some days it is just so hard. Today is one of those days.
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Cal,
My thoughts are with you. 
There is no timeline on grief and I suggest those people who think you should be over it have never been in your awful situation and have a lack of Benevolence!
As I put on my post overnight it’s the First Anniversary of my Dad passing this Wednesday and the anxiety has been building for the last Month!
It’s perfectly ok to be sad, but like a Grandfather clock pendulum don’t let it get stuck in the Sad position, let your emotions swing between Happy, Ok and Sad.
If it is getting stuck reach out for some ‘maintenance’ - true friends, your GP etc.
Take care
Hello, I read your post with such sadness and understanding. I lost my 28 year old daughter last August and it will soon be the anniversary.
I get so angry when people think we should be over it… I mean really ? We will never ever get over the devastating tragic loss of our children. In time I’ve been told the rawness softens and we learn to carry it a little better. We are never going to be the same as we were as part of our hearts have been ripped out.
Life will forever be different… it’s completely unbearable at times and yet somehow we put our masks on and do we have to do.
Thinking of you and be kind to yourself and I hope you have supportive family and friends 
x
It’s the first anniversary in August for me too, my daughter was 21. It’s also the first anniversary this month for my mum but I don’t even know the date she died, I wish I could say I feel guilty but I don’t. I just feel the loss of my daughter and I was relieved my mum died so my baby wouldn’t be alone.
I’m struggling with all the darkness, the thoughts of ‘this time last year’ the pain and suffering she endured. It’s a torturous hell we live in.
I lost my 22 year old son suddenly last August and feel haunted by the weeks leading up to the loss that I could have stopped his anxiety getting out of control so much so that he didn’t know what he was doing and had a fatal accident. I relive what I should have done constantly. I thought I could keep him safe but I failed him.