Well that time has come when a year has passed when my whole world shook ,cracked, fell apart, rocked ,smashed and anything else you can think off. It a year tomorrow September 1st when Rob was taken so suddenly without warning.
So what do I do tomorrow I haven’t go a clue I’m on annual leave from work . His mum rang me to say she has had a plaque made in his memory and she said “ so on the 2nd we can put it on his grandmothers grave to mark his day as the 2nd was the day he died “ I couldn’t resist and said “ no it wasn’t it was the 1st” this made me boil a bit inside ( she’s never been a big part of his life ) and then when she said “ are you sure” I just had to make my excuses and put the phone down.
So back to tomorrow I thought I wanted to be on my own but now I’m not so sure . I thought I wanted to go a walk with his cousin but now I’m not so sure .
I thought I wanted to do some retail therapy but now I’m not so sure.
I suppose I will just drift through it as best I can like I have done everyday for the past year . Oh well here’s to drifting
It’s so hard Kazzer. We want to mark the day but also want it to pass quickly. It is my husband’s birthday in a few days time and we (me and my kids) haven’t decided what to do yet. I’m sure it’s going to be a long day. My thoughts are with you as you drift through the day. Do what is right for you. Take care
Dear Kazzer
As Jules4 has said do what is right for you. The date for my husband is fast approaching. Our son has told his partner that she needs to take the two babies to her mother’s as he doesn’t want to see anyone. Our daughter is just too distraught to talk with about it as she is now on anti-depressants and sick leave as the date approaches. I will just hide away somewhere and turn off the phone.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow.
Sheila26 I’m thinking of doing just that locking the door turning my phone off spending the day at home with my dogs and lighting a candle for my Rob
Kazzer sounds like the perfect way to me … how quickly time passes eh days to weeks months then suddenly a year I’m dreading it .
Thinking of you
thinking of you tomorrow Kazzer… whatever you do I guess the day will pass but since I didnt get to the year yet myself I don’t know how it is… take care xxx
I remember the 2st anniversary so well. I sat alone and watched the clock and I lit a candle and broke my heart at the time.e he died. I cried for days afterwards. The se ond anniversary was a little less raw but I did the same thing. The 3rd anniversary is fast approaching and it all seems a dream but it will get me on the day as it always does.
Thinking of you x
My one year anniversary is coming up October 23. That’s exactly what I plan to do. Light a candle, say prayers, turn off the phone and hope that the day passes. And there willl be a river of tears. How can a year pass so quickly?
Hello @Kazzer
I hope you find something to do today to remember Rob.
It was the first anniversary of Karen’s death on Sunday. I met our boy and his girlfriend on Karen’s favourite beach, where her ashes are scattered. We walked and remembered her.
On the way home I stopped off to see one of our closest friends.
The day was difficult, but we did what felt right for us and her.
I hope you have a similar day
Thinking of you today Kazzer.
@ Kazzer hello kazzer thinking of you today
Hi Richard where are you in Berkshire? I am in Newbury. I am really struggling with the loss of my husband it is only 6months but coming up to year he went to hospital. I think that might be making me grieve so very badly. it seems to be getting worse not better. Anniversary’s of birthdays, etc are so very hard. So many people feeling on here the way each others feels, & finding it hard to cope. Don’t know how I will ever survive.
I can understand your feelings…my husbands first Anniversary was this year ,I dreaded it coming I relived every minute of his last day …he was only sick a few weeks so it was a terrible shock to me and my grown up Children…so on the evening we all got together in my Sons House and played all his favourite CDs.the 
in Concert …we sang along everyone of us crying our eyes out …and remembering the wonderful Concerts we all went to …yes it helped but o to have had him sitting next to us singing would have been wonderful…I miss him so so much 
hello Diane. I am sorry that your husband died. I too didn’t think I would survive… at around 8 months things started to get less bad for me and slowly improve. I hope they will for you too.
For now just keep breathing, trying to look after your physical and mental health, waiting for a change that may help you cope with what you’ve witnessed and what you’ve lost. I hope you will find a way to live with it, I think I have, although it seemed an impossibility that I’d survive in those early months… here I am anyway. Good luck xxx
@Kazzer how did you get on? Have you any plans to go to your Northern Soul nights again or anything?
Big hug xxx
FleurDelis my day yesterday was a complete mixed bag.
I got up and felt a dizzy as hell ( think it was my blood pressure) took my grandson to school and fetched him back later . In between taking him to school I had Robs cousin pestering me to for a walk but I said I couldn’t as I was feeling too dizzy, so I did some meditating . The florest bought me two bouquets of flowers one off my mum and one off my neighbour. I dint get any rest at all yesterday so I had an early night .
As for the northern soul I did a charity venue last week end which was great and a week on Friday I’m off to Whitby for a week end of dancing . I feel much better today and thank you so much for asking take care Karen x x
Hi we where married for 52 years on Monday 30th August 21 what a bad day I had told all the family no card anything at all I went to the pub at 3 in the afternoon looked at my phone and I said memories so I looked there was a picture of us on our wedding day she looked absolutely gorgeous I am now in tears in the pub. Vida passed away on the 29th November 20 from Covid I have not done washing cooking cleaning for at least 50 years I don’t know what to do don’t want to talk to anyone I feel like a empty shell. I would love to join her but we have two dogs that needs to be looked after
Yeo Yeo firstly you have come to the right place to get comfort and support . I know just how you feel I suppose all of us on here know that.
It’s just so hard I wanted nothing else but to join my Rob but then I have two children and two grandchildren so they help to bring me out of this thought .
To loose someone you are devoted to brings so many Changes and emotions and none of us know where to start or how to start I suppose it’s the grieving process .
Each day I think we’ll that’s another day over and another day closer to being with Rob again I know he wouldn’t want me to feel like that but I can’t help it. There was no preparation for his passing it was so sudden with no warning he had a massive heart attack at age 56 and we were so looking forward to fully retiring and making plans for it in fact we had plans for the day he passed away , my whole world was smashed into a thousand pieces
Take care and keep talking xx
I completely understand how you feel I am hardly able to function now i am a widow. II can’t believe how many on here feel the same. Its tragic for us all. Unbearable.
Wow Kazzer you story so like mine & how I feel. I am struggling to carry on & survive.