Today marks the 2nd Anniversary of my precious husband John as I sit here with the tears falling from my face and wishing that it was all a dream and suddenly I am going to wake up and he is there beside me but I know better than that even after 2 years I still can’t believe that he is no longer with me many a time I have tried to do something then I think I will just ask John then I collapse into tears because I realise he is not here to tell me or guide me anymore I am completely on my own and in many ways that is frightening it is always harder when you have had a man that has always been there for you filled up the car sorted out all the finacials drove you everywhere made sure you were throughly looked after like many of you ladies on this site were myself included then in the blink of an eye its all gone and everything from now on is down to us myself I am still learning I talk to John every single day and ask for his help and support but have received nothing back maybe I am looking to hard or maybe the signs are there and I am not seeing them I don’t know sometimes I just get so confused I am so very sorry for rambling on today but I just felt I needed to put pen to paper it helps to stop me crying for a little while thank you everyone for stopping by and I wish you peace and prayers as you carry on with your life xx


Dear Fraser

On behalf of the Sue Ryder Community welcome. Thank you for putting your thoughts online, I have no doubt you will have the full support of many others who are suffering from the loss of their life partners/husbands.

We all grieve in such different ways, and no matter how much time has passed since you lost John, those moments of sheer grief are earth shattering. I hope you have family and friends who offer comfort in some way, even so, the normal every day tasks he would have performed for you will be missed daily.

Keep writing on here, people understand your pain and that alone is a help in the healing process.

Thinking of you,

Dear Fraser This April will be 2 years since My Peter died and I can’t believe it has nearly been that long he was the love of my life and if anything I feel worse now than I did in the early days. My children seem to think I should be OK now and getting on with my life but how can I when my life was him and everything now is meaningless nothing seems important anymore and I just struggle on day after day . You are not rambling on you are telling it like it is for all of us here in this community. I wish you a peaceful year. Take care. Hugs to you. Jenny. X


Dear Lynn
I hope you get through the day as near as OK as you can manage. Shed loads of tears, your lovely man was worth every single one.
I hope you next day can be stronger
Thinking of you as I fast approach my first anniversary without my big guy, my love, my hero, my everything


It will soon be the first anniversary for my husband. It feels as though it was only yesterday. I too wait for a sign to let me know he is safe and happy and at peace. It is in these moments that we can all come together and support each other. It helps to know that we are not alone x