I lost my 26 year old son to a drug overdose 3 years ago tomorrow. Grief is unbearable As well as the shock of his death I had got an injunction on him so hadn’t seen him fir previous months. The feeling of guilt is in tense and doesn’t go away. I feel I cannot grieve him properly or remember any good times we had I only remember the bad times Unsure if this is grief or if I’m still traumatised. I just wish I could have one more chance to tell him that I loved him
He had a daughter who he never got to meet and I’m lucky that we get to spend time with her every weekend. But that’s painful to me too she looks just like her daddy. My granddaughter lives with her grandparents due to her mum continuing to use drugs
This is my first time on this site I hope it gives me strength to not be frightened of my grief I try and carry on fir my 3 daughters and be strong and not show them that I’m struggling with my grief. But I know this is not healthy fir me
Hello @Liz1, well done on starting this thread and reaching out - we know taking that step can be hard, and I do hope it gives you strength.
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. It sounds like this was a very complex and painful situation for you and your family. We have a Losing a child category here where you can meet others who have sadly experienced the loss of their child, too.
You mention that you’re struggling with your grief, so I wanted to share some support options you might want to take a look at.
There is also an organisation called The Compassionate Friends, which many of our members have gotten support from. It’s for families who have lost a child of any age. They are on 0345 123 2304 or you can visit their website at www.tcf.org.uk/
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service, if you think talking to someone about how you’re feeling might be helpful. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
We are thinking of you as you experience your son’s anniversary tomorrow - please do reach out here for support and maybe consider some of the options above, too.
I lost my disabled son the morning of today. I went in to get him up and he was cold. So many people came, the police, 2 ambulances and the corona., and 2 carers. The policeman told me to ring my mum to come over to be with me and she said no. She died three months later, and I was glad. I miss my son as much as I did when he was alive, and I love him more than you can love someone. The pain never gives up.
I hope that you have people around you to tomorrow. I have no one. My family didn’t want to know my son because of his many disabilities, but I’m so glad that as i tucked him in that night and gave him a cuddle that we both signed i love you, see you in the morning. That gives me comfort. We did that every night. I’m so lonely, I have an extremely large photograph of him in my front room, and look at him looking at me.
I will add you to my prayers. Wishing you angel blessings to all of your family. Light and love, Elaine.xxx
Hi Elaine. I’m so sorry for the loss of your son and your right the pain doesn’t ease I guess I don’t want it to It just feels so overwhelming especially on his anniversary and birthday He would have been 30 next year.
I am lucky because I’ve got a supportive partner and my 3 girls who give me strength but I still feel alone in my grief My partner wasn’t Zacs dad so I don’t think it’s the same for him
I’m sorry that you have to go through this on your own without any family to support you I hope you’ve got friends who can support you
I’m finding this group chat helpful because I don’t feel alone in my grief. Some of my friends talk about my son and share their memories and I love that but others can’t handle it so I tend to withdraw from them Grief is tricky some days I’m fine with it and others it flaws me. Todays a tricky day for all of us. My eldest daughter is a teenager and was really upset before school thinking about her brother That hurts me to see her devastated but I’m glad she remembers him my younger twins don’t remember him at all but we had to safeguard the girls from his behaviour at the end. So sad that he couldn’t see us at the end but his behaviour was dangerous
It hurts though that I didn’t see him at the end despite the drugs and threats he was my son who I loved I just couldn’t cope with his demands Zac died on a cold floor in a block of flats with his mate. He wasn’t alone which gives me comfort I just wish he had gone to rehab and stopped the drugs But in my heart I know he didn’t want to stop Such a tragedy and a waste of a beautiful life xx