My son died neatly 4 years ago aged 19. It’s coming up to the anniversary. Every year I relive the night of his death…I have had counselling from cruise which was great. But every year it seems that I torture myself. I am hoping on years to come things will change? Seems so raw each year

Hello Woo,

I’m so very sorry to hear that your son died nearly 4 years ago. It’s completely normal to feel this way around an anniversary - they can trigger a lot of different emotions and memories that can be hard to manage. There are many people in this community who will understand how you’re feeling so do keep talking to us, if it helps.

I came across an article on the What’s Your Grief website about dealing with the anniversary of a loved one’s death, which may be helpful for you. It includes a list for suggestions for remembering your loved one:

We also have an information page about how long grief lasts, which touches on this:

If there’s anything I can do to support you, just let me know.

Take care,

Hi Woo, our circumstances are very different we lost our son to SIDS in 2008 he was 8 weeks old. However like you the anniversary of his death each year still brings back all the memories. All I can say is you are not alone in feeling like this. Also do what you want to do on his anniversary there are no rules. Take care