On May 11th my mother would have been 56.It feels like a lifetime since i last spoke to her.I still cant believe this is my life now.The hardest birthday i have to go through is my own next month.Im 37 and i wish my mother was here to see me turning 37.Life is so cruel.
6 Likes
. This is so sad. 56 is so young.
Thank you.
She was always looking after herself.She had a healthy diet, she was fit,she loved walking.Then she had a hysterectomy in 2015 and she developed epilepsy and antiphispholipid syndrome(autoimmune disease.)She didnt have epilepsy before this.Its like these illnesses were dormant.She also was in menopause and she couldn’t take hrt because of the blood clot risk, the menopause destroyed who she was.She had to stop driving because of her epilepsy.This took away more of her independence.I always think about all the what ifs but it means nothing because it wont bring her back.
I am grateful that she lived for 33 years of my life.
You think it will never happen to you then it does.
2 Likes
I completely agree - for the first 39 years of my life I was sheltered and spoiled (not in a negative way; I just had a very comfortable existence) and then my fit and healthy dad had a heart attack that would have been prevented if the appointments he’d had had have been with a GP and not a ‘trainee clinical practitioner’. I’m so sorry - there’s no positive spin to any of this .
I’m so sorry @StarHeart 
Your mum should be there with you.
I know how you feel, it was my mum’s birthday a couple months ago, and just before that I turned 33 without her it feels so wrong to be ageing without her here with me.
It really is cruel. Try to do something to enjoy your day if you can. I just didn’t make a big deal of mine and went for a walk, and did an escape room to try and distract myself. See if you can meet friends or do something to take you mind off it, even if just for an hour.
Take care x
1 Like
Thank you everyone for your kind words and support.Sometimes birthdays just affect me more than i think they will.I think its just the unfairness of it all.It brings up all the pain and heartache.