Sitting in a cafe this morning. Daydreamed I was meeting my gorgeous Christine. She didn’t turn up. Have got home. Wept. I’m very good at torturing myself.
The day is going to be even more difficult than usual to get through.
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…I do that too mate…try not to, but it happens…
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Take care @JerryH
Nothing ever can prepare us for loss.
Sometimes i go to the garden centre get a coffee usually he would meet me after he had a look at plants. No any more do i know how it feels.
Take care and look after yourself we owe thst to our loved ones.
Lynne
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Thanks @Galaxy75.
Got through the day. Just stayed in and pottered. Am learning to play the piano so practiced for a while which helped to distract me from how awful I’m feeling.
But now there is the evening and night to get through. Again. It is utterly relentless this sadness and ghastly nightmare that I’m living in at the moment.
Best wishes to you.
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Nice to hear your learning piano 
Its good to keep occupied it helps to fill up hours during the day.
I managed to join book club and rock choir to help fill up my days.
Here’s hoping you manage to get some sleep tonight. Last night i managed 4hrs but eoke up at 4am. Unfortunately not managed to get full nights sleep yet maybe this will happen soon
Lynne
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Thanks Lynne.
You too.
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Hi Lynne,
Thank you, I did manage to get some sleep but like you I’ve not really been getting sound sleep for a long time. I’ve given up worrying about that. I will have a doze during the day if I start to feel tired.
I decided to go into London this morning to visit a gallery that Christine and I would visit regularly. At the moment there is an exhibition of works by artists who specialise in wildlife. There were some really lovely pieces, paintings and sculptures. There was a bronze of a Kodiak bear. It was huge and very impressive. A snip at £49,000. I managed to resist purchasing it! Christine would have loved the exhibition.
When I got back I went to the gym for an hour to tire myself out. I try to keep up regular visits to the gym as it really does help to calm me but at times even that is just beyond me.
I had a nice chat with my daughter this evening. She has a sweet little girl cat who was meowing in the background because she was being ignored. A very spoilt little cat!
So today has certainly been easier to cope with than yesterday when I was feeling very desolate. So thank you.
Hopefully your day has been tolerable. Somehow we just have to keep getting through the days.
Best wishes,
Simon
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Hi @JerryH
Good morning.
Glad you managed to havw a good day yesterday.
I did not do much yesterday as had to wait in for a service to centrsl heating system.
I did go for a quick look around the garden centre near home to see the Christmas decorations was going to have a hot chocolate but the queue was too long so came home. It is strange visiting places on your own now.
Today i have some girls i used to work with 3 years ago at Edinburgh University coming to take me out for lunch. I haven’t seen them for a while so something to look forward to today.
Hope you have a nice Saturday.
Take care
Lynne
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Good morning @Galaxy75. And to all who are up early due to work or just can’t sleep. Hope you have a lovely outing with your friends. Still got to set task for today. Maybe I will finally make it into the garage. Xx. Sandra
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Morning Sandra
Another weekend to get through !!
Hope you manage to have a nice day.
Take care
Lynne x
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Hi Lynne,
Yes it is now very different visiting places on my own. There is me, and everyone else from whom I now feel completely detached. I have always been comfortable with my own company but this is a very different feeling. Hmm … to forego a cup of hot chocolate the queue must have been long! But then again, since Christine died many things have completely lost their savour so my patience queuing is very limited. Now I often can’t be bothered and go without.
I hope you had a nice lunch and catchup with your friends.
I have a very dear friend; she lost her husband to cancer a number of years ago. She was a good friend of Christine’s and was incredibly supportive during her illness. We have become very good friends. I can talk very frankly to her as sadly she understands exactly what I am saying. We don’t often get the opportunity to meet but just by chance we were able to meet for a meal this evening. At one point I said that I simply don’t believe that Christine has died and am continually puzzled why she isn’t at home with me. My friend said that she still feels this. She said that if her husband were to walk into the restaurant now while she would momentarily have a double take, she would not be at all surprised. It is just bizarre, these many facets of grief.
Best wishes to you.
Simon
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Hi Simon
Thanks had a really nice lunch with the girls from my old work nice to catch up after all that time.
Have arranged another lunch in Dec before Christmas to meet.
It is nice to talk and meet up with others it makes it feel a bit more normal although it really will never be the same without him.
Tomorrow planning quiet day at home msybe even tackle the garden.
Hope you had a nice day night and wush you all the best for tomorrow. Another weekend nearly over.
Take care
Lynne
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