I really don’t want to sound like a misery to my family and friends but the whole ‘most wonderful time of the year’ thing just doesn’t work for me anymore without the other part of my heart.
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I know exactly how you feel. It is also my third Christmas. I feel worse this year than I did about the first two. My husband died suddenly at 66 in July 23 we had been married for 45 years. The first Christmas I was still in shock I think??? So the following Christmas I made a bit more effort for the grandchildren. But now the reality that I will never fully enjoy Christmas again has sunk in and it’s just depressing and dragging me down. Although it does keep me busy so I should be grateful for that. Hopefully in time the huge loss we feel eases. We are not on our own. My only consolation is that I will not have to go through this again, and some people have this to come.
I have seen grandparents and parents and friends and relatives who have gone through this before me. I didn’t realise how hard it was for them. But I take solace in that they did all come to terms with it eventually .
Big hugs to you.
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Same here. I am just resigned to it. It is what it is. I go to sing in the church choir. Yesterday we sang Infant Holy.
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