Another first

Just sat in the garden on my own for the first time sun is shinning without my pete & just crying keep seeing him coming through the bk door :cry: this is another first.

Dear Zico

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the pain as only those of us in the same position can understand.

Take care. xx

So sorry for you loss
We have just done grandson birthday
And my birthday March 13
Not going to do that day at all
Hard everything we do on are own so heartbreaking xx

It’s so very hard isn’t it? Thought I was coping ok but I seem to be going backwards. Sitting in the house with all the memories, he should be here with me. :cry:We are all so broken. Hugs

Hi it really is & same I seem to have the odd good day whn am coping thn it’s followed by real sadness & tears the nxt :broken_heart::broken_heart:sending hugs xx

Hi Debbie

My late dad’s birthday and our wedding anniversary on 13 March. The last week I have not been able to function. Drove to do the food shopping and found myself lost even though we have lived in the same area for 40+ years. The stress levels are just escalating and I can barely function - just keep breaking down and crying. Have told my family that I will be uncontactable on Saturday - this should have been a day of celebration but instead I am struggling with the unbelievable loss of my husband.

Take care.
Sheila xxxx

Hello Sheila
So really hard I have asked everyone not to do my
Birthday as I really can’t and don’t want to do anything
Everything is so painful isn’t it go in the garden cry go in shed or garage cry wake up sob my heart out
We are all really struggling with this pain it so unbearable
Please take care xx

Dear Debbie

I said exactly the same thing for my birthday in November. All but one person complied with my wishes and sent me a photo of me and my husband as a ‘gift’. I was both incensed and distraught. We have to do what we feel we can cope with and what we feel is right for us.

Our struggle is a daily one. I hope that together we can support each other. Take care.

Sheila xxxx

I can’t believe how insensitive some people can be.

I too cry every day, its exhausting, I get scared as I feel like I’m going crazy, I can’t get my partner of my mind.
I can’t concentrate while watching TV.
I managed to clean my bathroom today, so that’s a tiny step I took as I haven’t done any cleaning since 13th Jan.
It’s still early days for us, we have to take tiny steps but it is such hard work.
Sending you a hug
Amy x

I have sobbed all day so far I feel exactly like you ladies empty like I don’t belong now how do you live when your life’s gone.
I gave Tim my heart my soul we did everything together except work, I have no idea what my purpose in life is now.
What a miserable existence this is and I can not see it getting any easier soon.

Virtual hugs to all,


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I don’t think people can really understand how devastating it is to lose your soulmate, the feelings of fear, panic, helplessness, you just want to wake up up from this nightmare and everything will be ok.
Like you Julie, we did everything together, no children, I imagined us growing old together, it was so cruel a devastating diagnosis that meant he was gone within a few weeks. My heart goes out to you, there is nothing I can say to make you feel better but know we are all here for you. Hugs.


I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 34 years to Covid on 26th January. I lost my husband, best friend and soulmate. The future that we had planned together was cruelly snatched away. I miss him more every day. I have a son but no other family to give me support (other than a brother who has advanced dementia and no longer recognises me.) Life feels so empty and lonely and the future frightens me.

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Dear Mazza1

I understand exactly your feelings and I am sorry that you find yourself in this position. I was married 38 years and together 42 when I lost my husband because of a road traffic accident. Today I just sit wondering why we worked so hard for a good retirement only for it to be taken from us. Our son lives local but daughter lives in Essex. I look after our little grandson - my husband had promised them he would be the baby-sitter, so I gave up work to keep this commitment. But at some point they will need to have a life without me ‘tagging’ along.

Easter was another time for celebration and although son, his partner and grandson are coming for dinner I am finding it another difficult day. I just want and need my husband.

Take care.

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Thank you for your reply. I am also sorry for your loss. Like your daughter, I live in Essex.
We also worked hard for a comfortable retirement. Paul was winding down at work and we had lots of plans to travel and for Paul to play more golf and those dreams have all disintegrated. Life is so cruel.
The Easter weekend has been awful, I feel so alone and life seems so pointless.

Same here. We were a little way off retirement but had travel and our hobbies in mind for the future. We both worked hard to provide for the family and so that we could have a comfortable retirement. Now it all seems so pointless - I don’t have any desire to do the things that we planned on my own.

Dear Mazza and Jules4

I had my son, his partner and grandson yesterday for Sunday dinner and it was nice but there was an empty seat at the table and since they left I have been utterly devastated. I just need the man that I planned my life with. He had too many good years ahead to be taken when he did. I live in a constant state of grief. No point in looking beyond the day you are in as I will not be able to fulfil our plans - we were going to tour Europe again in a little sports car. I am not confident driver and do not know the roads or local driving restrictions to do any of that and I also would not want to do it without my husband by my side.


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I know what you mean. People say I can still go to these places but it was the person I was going to share the travel with that made me want to go. I also don’t want to ask other people so that they feel obliged to go with me for the holidays that we had already booked.

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Jules4 and Sheila26
Doing the things you planned with your partner on your own is not the same and I don’t think I could contemplate that. I am so frightened about the future and being on my own. I only have my son, we have no family other than a couple of cousins and my brother who has advanced early onset dementia. I feel so alone. I wish Covid had taken me and not my husband, I know he would have coped better on his own. I need him beside me, he provided love, friendship, care and the reassurance I need to do things. It is so hard to go on without him.

Dear Marion

Sorry typed up a reply and then it just disappeared.

Wanted to say you are right cannot and do not want to do these things if I cannot have my husband by my side. Together we got to this point of retirement - our hard work, our sacrifices, our pulling together as a strong team - and now that is all gone.

I too am frightened about the future - I cannot look beyond the day I wake up to.

Hi Sheila
How long is it since your husband passed away? I am like you, I am very frightened about the future and being on my own. It is heartbreaking that our plans to travel in retirement has been taken away. How do you go from having someone with you most of the time to being on your own.