I lost the love of my life 6 weeks ago . Today I have had a phone call to say the recovery organisation are collecting his car next week , as we can’t finance it it has to go to auction as it’s only 6 months old . I am going to be in bits when they collect his car it everything he ever worked for and I just feel it will be his pride and joy going ,in fact I’m already in bits . I loved him so much I just feel as if I’m getting rid of everything he worked for I hate it !!!
So sorry to read that @Kazzer, that is just cruel, they could at least say to you you can keep the car for a few months without paying anything and if you still can’t afford it, then they will take it back, there is absolutely no need to take a car back from someone who has only been dead less than a few months, it’s unbelievable.
Abdulla I suppose that’s how it is and that’s life in the business world. If I kept the car a month or a year I wouldn’t be able to finance it as I’m already financing my own , so I suppose what I’m saying it just has to go back and as a family we understand that it has to go . As you said life is cruel . At the moment not only is it cruel but it’s lonely too I understand it’s early days for me but I really do believe I will NEVER love again the way I love my Rob he was my teacher, my guide, my rock as well as my husband and I want him to continue to be proud of me for handling his estate to the best of my ability
I am guessing that the car is a symbol of your loss. Fixating on this is possibly just a focus for your grief. They can take the car but they can’t take your memories.
Concentrate on yourself and your recovery. Counselling will help and there is lots of it available.
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Hello Kazzer, I too had to sell my husband’s beloved car that he had worked so hard to pay for. It was sad, especially as I don’t drive but it was for the best. Losing the car was nothing compared to losing the soulmate of 47 years (41 married). I too will never love again and I want to make hime proud of me. He always thought I was the stronger one of us but he taught me so much that he never knew. I wish I had been more like him - such a kind, caring gentle soul. I hope he is in a happy place now.
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Hi Kazzer
Let the car go, it will be one less thing for you to worry about. I had to sell my husbands belongings and I really struggled with guilt but once they was gone I didn’t give them a second thought which did surprise me. You have your memories and that is the most important. You have to look after yourself at such a raw time. You don;t need any extra things to worry about.
I must admit that taking the car after only six weeks does seem a bit harsh, but that’s business for you.
Take care of yourself.
When you lose someone you love, it often feels like they are being “deleted” from this world but nothing and no one can take away your love and memories. Life is about love and memories and material things are just that immaterial. There is a true saying in life, that we come into the world alone and with nothing and we leave alone and with nothing, however the biggest gift our love one’s leave behind is their legacy and love. This resides in our hearts. Focus on what is in the heart
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Well said Lyn. So very true.
Well Robs car has gone today and yes I cried my eyes out as it was his pride and joy but it had to go we are not in a position to make the hefty monthly payments . I just hope Rob can forgive me for having to let his car go but I had no option
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Well done Kazzer, another hurdle completed.
I had to let my husbands musical instruments go, although I thought about keeping them but for what… They would have gone back into the loft and slowly rotted away. His best guitar that he played on stage went to a lovely man who sent me an A4 photograph of it fully restored and going back on stage. This helped me. What would have happened to the car if you had kept it!!! It’s gone to be used and looked after. I also asked my husband for forgiveness but I did what I thought was for the best and you have done what you had to for practical reasons. You had no choice.
Pat xx
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I sold my husbands guitar and got a lovely video of the recipient playing it. That was delightful.
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Maggie 76 you have been in my thoughts today I hope everything went as good as it could for Steve and I hope you and your family can take comfort now that he is at peace . Having said that you have a few tough weeks ahead of you not that it’s any different afterwards but things don’t seem as raw . It’s been 7 weeks today for me . Take care stay safe sending hugs to you all x x
Hi there
I have the photo of the guitar in a frame next to one of Brian playing it. It was covered with bits of sticky tape where Brian had fixed things to it and been playing it for thirty years. The new owner made it look like new again.
I knew then that I had made the right decision in selling it. He had three guitars but this one was the one he played on stage. He had other instruments also, some had been in the loft for years. I sent these to auction, hopefully now cared for and played.
xx