Another sleepless night

From being able to sleep minimum of 9 hours a night for the past week I’m getting by on 4 hours of broken sleep. I reached out for help, not something I have done before and still not sure at how comfortable I feel about it but I’m really struggling at the moment, that is something I’m finally admitting to. 8 months on since I lost my soul mate and I thought things would get easier until a week ago when it all came crashing down

@Life71 hi I am so very sorry for your loss I lost my soulmate 58 days ago I’m still trying to adjust to being without her from what you said about reaching out I take it you don’t do that often or feel comfortable with it you will find support here we are all going through this horrendous heartbreak and try to help and support eachother as best we can have you spoken to your doctor for help or had any grief counselling I wish I could offer you some words of comfort but I’m struggling myself all I can say is keep posting and talking on here it does help a little knowing that others understand I’m often in and out of here I will always reply to any message stay safe take care my thoughts are with you

No I didn’t ever think I would be that person, I used to consider myself strong but I don’t know anymore. Yes I reached out to my GP yesterday after battling with myself, I have refused medication but he is arranging counselling for me. He said it was admirable that I have managed to cope for so long without reaching out, but it doesn’t feel that way. I also reached out to a friend yesterday which was very difficult for me as I don’t want to burden anyone. They were extremely supportive but even that when I am thinking about it, I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have. Feeling of guilt, anxiety, pain, grief, numbness, the list goes on

I have always been able to cope with things and been very strong but I know that a lot of that was because I was part of a team with my husband. Dealing with the hardest times ever and without the person who I would usually lean on is devastating. I have reached out to anybody who has been willing to help. Ultimately no one can help because they can’t bring him back, but I have taken support from whoever I can. Take care

But it’s taking that support that I find the hardest, I feel by doing this I’m week and I don’t want to be week I also don’t want to burden anyone, everyone’s lives are so busy. Part of me thinks it’s my own shit and I have to learn to deal with it, just haven’t figured out how yet. Just wish I could lock myself away but when you have a child that’s reliant on you, you don’t even have that choice. So at the moment I just try to keep busy, but even that is getting difficult as I’m tired as I’m not sleeping. It’s a vicious circle

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Sometimes, asking for help is the strongest thing to do. I figure that I need help in order to be able to help my children.

@Life71 it’s not weak to reach out in fact it takes incredible strength to ask for help and yes it’s a big step but we all need help at times and you are not being a burden to anyone people that care will want to help as much as they can this journey we are now on is the hardest thing I have ever had to face in my life I know no one can take away the pain I feel or make Me any better because the only thing that could do that would be having my beautiful pauline back you are strong and you are gonna need that strength so please take any help that is offered I wish I had people in my life that I could reach out to even if it was just to hug me as I cry the only people I have are the people on here I feel so isolated and alone and I wouldn’t wish that feeling or what we are going through on anyone stay safe take care sending hugs

Hi sorry for your loss sleep or lack of it is exhausting I hit 10 month mark came crashing down only sleeping approx 3 hrs a night. Had to get some help thinking we’re strong and get through it but we don’t. Hope you are sleeping better with help x

I am so sorry for your loss. Yes this site does help because people are going through the same pain as you. It’s over 12 months that l lost my soul mate, he was 55 and it was very unexpected. I just keep going for our girls and seeing them struggling is killing me. Night time l know l can do my crying. It is very early days so just keep talking about your soul mate to anyone that will listen, talk about all your happy times. X