Another step

I feel im at a new stage in my grief lost my partner 19th November…is it just hitting me feel lije iv went backwards tho the pressure of other lufes problem dont help but i feel a different kind of grief.

@Jan271 I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my wife at the end of October. I think I feel grief on three levels. The first is grief for her that she is missing experiences she would have loved, the second is my grief that I’m missing her so much, and the third is grief over the way she died. Each has different triggers and I think the first two are now greater than the last so my grief is beginning to feel a bit different now. Perhaps something like that is happening in your grief. Love and support xx

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Thanks for your encouragement. I just feel it has changed and i am goi g to counselling just now thro my work .he did say he thonks iv reached the acceptance stage of it all…such a terrible journey for us all .i ask why and then i think death must in fact be part of this life.x


Yes, I think acceptance is such a huge hurdle that maybe it gives a different feel once your brain has processed that as real. To begin with our brains tell us it can’t be real.
I used to have close to panic attacks when I was working in a special school and was often the one to be with children with muscular dystrophy and their families when they died as I looked after those boys mostly. That meant I often had to ring other people to inform them and save the poor parents from doing so. I used to panic that I had dreamed it and they weren’t really dead and I was telling people this dreadful news which wasn’t true.

What this does mean though is that you are learning to carry this grief and taking steps to living if the counsellor sees this as progress too.
Sending love
Karen xxx

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Thankyou Karen x

Your husband died on the 19th and my husband died on the 18th November. And I too feel different.
No idea which year but it was 2022 then and now 2023.

My husband died on the 10th November. My grief has definitely changed. I used to have complete meltdowns then I would be miserable for days afterwards. Now I can have a meltdown and feel better straight away. I think you’re right @Mike75 about the levels of grief. I have the first two but not the third. He couldn’t have died any more peacefully than he did.

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@Jean8 It is 4 months today I lost my wife. I think @KarenF is right, we have accepted our loss and that has changed our grief. I have put aside time this afternoon for a walk to one of our favourite places then a ‘time out’ to grieve and reflect. I know I will need this to get me through this milestone. I will do the same on each milestone as they arise as I think ritual is important to us if we are to create a new routine in our new but unwanted lives. xx


Yes 2022…i just pray for peace and acceptance through time x

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Sending extra hugs today @Mike75 xxx

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I agree with you Mike once I got over the shock of losing my Geoff suddenly, then I was angry. Now l have regrets and guilty that I am still here but l need time to myself to grieve on my own x

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