Good morning all. Another restless night for me and Monday morning so off to work ok. It’s a good distraction but by end of the week I’m tired of the fake smile and the normal Sarah show I put on . What’s everyones else plans for today ? Weather looking a bit dull by me
Hope you are all feeling ok and life is being kind
Sarah 
Hi Sarah my plans are cleaning the house and going out for walks. What a strange life it’s now. My wife was given five months to live at 58 and we closed our English school, that we had run together for 25 years the same day. We were thinking of getting early retirement in a couple of years. I can’t be bothered to start anything now, what for. I hope you have a good day at work
Wishing you all the best Tom
My day is sitting here, in my own grief. I usually go swimming everyday. I tried today, had to get out of the water, I was so exhausted. 6 years ago this morning, we sat and watched my soulmate slip away. He had suffered so much. I am so overwhelmed today 
Dear Lizzie I am so sorry to hear your pain. These days bring back all the pain and suffering. I hope you have some family around you to give you a hug. Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
Hi Sarah
I started a journal as my daughter’s journey was mine too. This helps me everyday.
Lost her last year and my head is so heavy. I didn’t go back to work. I took early retirement. Became a hermit but have slowly started to meet friends every now and again
Hope you have a somewhat good ish day
Tina
Dear Tina I am sorry to hear about your daughter. It must terrible to see your daughter go through such an illness like that. My wife had bile duct cancer and was given five months to live, fortunately for me she managed to survive nearly two years of chemotherapy. She died in my arms on Christmas Day her final breath was a call to her mum. I hope they are together now in heaven.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
Today I had a visit from my brother & sister-in-law which was lovely. But now they have gone home & I’m sat here thinking I wish I could go home with Jamie.
His funeral is on Monday & I have just received an email from the celebrant to look over what she is going to say & let her know if it’s ok. What she has written is lovely but I can’t help but think how short it is. He was 54 years old, he had plenty of life left to live, we had plans & it’s not fair that he’s not here with me & that I’m sat here by myself crying.
Hi Sar, im so sorry for what you’re going through, i lost my husband in march he was 57…its all so sad isn’t? So sad that it almost seems unreal, how can something this bad be happening 
..but its happening, we’ve all been through it, the loss, the funeral, the friends and family distancing themselves..we’re just left alone in our own misery..please take care of yourself, May God strengthen and comfort you. 
Hi Sar I am so sorry to hear you suffering. I hope you find the strength you need to go through these heart wrenching moments. The pain of losing your loved one and your future together.
Thinking of you and sending strength and hugs
Wishing you all the best Tom
Hey Tina . I’m so sorry to hear of your loss . It must of been so difficult but I’m glad to hear that your are now venturing out again with friends .
I have also got a journal . I write in it every night just like I’m talking to my Dave . About my day , my feeling just anything I need to get of my chest . Clear my head before getting some sleep .
Sending a big hug to you 
Hi Sar. I’m so sorry your are going through this tough time . I lost my Dave 10 weeks ago and some days cripple me others are better . Go with your emotions on the day . Do what you need to do scream , cry , shout . Keep your close ones close though . Lean on them .
If you feel the celebrants words are so short let them know and get them adjust it for you ? Is anyone else speaking on the day ?
Sarah
I know that feeling its hard
Thank you Sarah
I write in my journal everyday too. When my daughter was diagnosed I took pictures with my phone every day. She loved it and I’m so glad I did because it shows the journey she took.
She was free of leukemia but the GvHD ( graft vs host disease) got her after her stem cell transplant. That’s what I get angry about. The consultants don’t give you the full information about it xx
Hi Teena, im so sorry for your loss, im sorry for everything your daughter went through and you as well,..those transplants can be tricky..
Hi Lucy
Thank you for your kind words.
My daughter was 37 when she died. Just getting on with her life and boom.
I miss her so much. We laughed, cried and sung as much as we could between hospital visits . No mother should go through losing their child .
Sorry for you loss. Your husband was still young