Hi fg15 I have been taking Mirtazapine for about 6 months as my wife was diagnosed with Metastatic breast Cancer that had spread to the bones and the liver on aug 2019 & she passed away on the 20 july this year age 51.
I don’t think the tablets are helping me I take 15mg but the past couple of day I have been waking up & feeling so tired.
Good luck & I hope the gp finds a solution for you.
I hope you manage to get through your daughter’s birthday alright, it’s hard as we all know.
I struggle as on my own. Xx
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I have 30mg at night and 100mg of sertraline in a morning plus 3 diazepam through the day but as silly as it sounds it’s not settling me yet, but only lost my mum in august Xx
So sorry to hear about your wife. Life is very cruel sometimes Xx
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Thank you x
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Hi. John-May. Grief can so often override medication, especially in the early stages. You need to be guided by your doctor. They deal with bereavement so often and know you. August is far too soon to expect any real change. Time and more time and patience is necessary. It sounds hard and it is, very hard!! To me, the only way is to ‘go through it’, not try and ‘get over it’.
That’s not possible. It’s a process that will take as long as it takes. Everyone differs in how they react. Getting over it may well apply to an illness, but grief is not an illness. It’s a major trauma in our lives. Let emotions come as they will. It’s so important not to bottle up emotions.
When I lost my wife nearly two years ago, I thought recovery was not possible. And it’s true. full recovery isn’t. We will never forget, but the pain does ease and some of the more pleasant things in life begin to appear.
I can now go to places where we went together. It can be a bit painful at times, but I feel it’s important to face and accept what has happened. Give yourself time and space. This is in no way minimising your pain. We all know only too well what it’s like. Be kind to yourself as well as others who may be mourning with you. Blessings. John.
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Hi John I fully agree with what your saying. I am guided by my lovely lady GP, which telephones every week plus our care co ordinaries rings twice weekly. I am suffering from severe grief as I was a carer to my dad for 2 years, then after loosing him was a carer for my mum. And all is very raw at the moment. Plus I live in the house that was our family home, which has lots of memories but at the moment I can’t see the good memories. Your reply and guidance is much appreciated. Regards Sue X
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I lost my husband 16 weeks ago, I dont think I have had a good nights sleep since. I miss him so much, and have been getting very upset and tearful most days. This week my GP has prescribed antidepressants, she thinks they may help, I am not sure, up to now they are making me feel quite nauseous, I am taking Sertraline.
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Sorry for your loss KathQ. They made me feel nauseous when I first started taking them but it soon settled. I’m not sure they are the answer, I feel that talking to someone who has been through a loss like yours or mine helps more than pills.
But at the same time nothing can help with the loss it leaves. Xx
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Sorry for your loss.
I take Mirtazapine but I don’t know if they help but John may is right it helps to talk to someone that has been through & understands what the grief is like I lost my wife age 51 to cancer 12 weeks ago.
Good luck & I hope you find some help for your grief.
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Hi Jonathan 123, I agree, bereavement is unique to each of us. 3 years ago when my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic pancreatic liver cancer, I went to see my doc and asked for help to cope with what was coming. I was put on sertraline low dosage once a day and I have been on it since. It helped keep me grounded and on an even keel. I am still suffering intense grief but coping as well, it has been 4 months since he passed away. I too have problems sleeping but I don’t take anything for that, I’m sure eventually I will get into a better routine. Some people will find antidepressants helpful but some might find it doesn’t. I’m just pleased I’m on them. Best wishes Margarita
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Thank you John, sorry for your loss. Its helpful to know someone had same side effects to Sertraline. I am going to stick with them for now and see how it goes. It’s not easy
Hi. Margarita. I look upon medication as a temporary crutch, just as a crutch would be with a broken leg. Long term medication does need careful management from your GP, but short term, such as anti depressants and tranquilisers can help us think more rationally. With some folk medication is an absolute necessity. Our physical health can be so badly affected by our mental state. Anxiety, which most of us suffer from, can throw up some nasty symptoms. We may even think we are very ill, and visit to our GP is very important if only for reassurance. Sleep will eventually level off. Nature gives us that reassurance. Laying awake in bed and all the thoughts going through the mind like a herd of elephants is not easy to cope with. Time and more time is needed.
Take care Margarita. John.
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Hi, John,
I have been taking anti depressants for a long long time, the blood disorder which I have, prevents my brain making seratonin. My life style does not help either, I haven’t been out since the middle of July and that was a medical appointment, I am used to it, I am very lucky insomuch that my family keep in touch and I have a lot of friends who ring me.
Take care and stay safe,
Blessings,
MaryL
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