I lost my husband 12 months ago. I’m still not coping day to day. I have an appointment this afternoon with my doctor. I feel so depressed and having trouble sleeping. Did any of you find anti depressants helped you.
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Hi seedo18. I have been on Sertraline for quite a while, started it when I was looking after my dad who had dementia. After Andy died, I spoke to my GP as I’m not sleeping. She doubled the dose which has been helpful. Sertraline is mainly for anxiety, rather a true antidepressant but it has definitely helped settle some of the horrendous anxiety I have been feeling. Good luck with your doctor x
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Thank you Ginger68. I can’t cope with this lack of sleep,let’s hope the doctor can help.
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My husband passed away suddenly without warning 12 weeks ago. I was coping then suddenly i wasn’t. I started experiencing uncontrollable anxiety which stopped me eating and was exhausting. I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago because i couldn’t go on like that. A very lovely doctor listened to me and prescribed Mirtazipine. It has really helped. The anxiety has toned down. I’m sleeping better and eating better. Best wishes for your doctors appointment.
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Thank you I’m so please it has helped you.I have been to the doctor’s this afternoon and she has prescribed me Mirtazapine too. So I am looking forward to getting a good nights sleep.
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Very best wishes for a good night’s sleep. I found it started working in the first few days. Such a relief.
Hi everyone,
I lost my husband to bile duct cancer on 30 August, he was 55 and diagnosed in April this year.
It had been 5 months of pain and suffering, he was so poorly the whole way through it. He probably spent a third of the time in hospital and had many painful procedures, drains, stents, stoma etc.
I haven’t been able to sleep well for a long time now, but during his illness the insomnia got much worse.
The doctor has now prescribed me zopiclone to try and sort my sleep routine out. However, I also asked for anxiety meds as I’m so anxious about everything, I worry about things that may never happen and I wanted something to help me through this period. My husband’s funeral isn’t until 27 September. I know they take a while to get into your system, but I’m hoping to feel a bit less anxious by then as the thought of the funeral petrifies me 
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Louise19, so sorry to hear of your loss. Still very recent and raw. I hope the medication helps you. I’m on Sertraline and have found that very good for reducing my anxiety. Will be thinking of you on 27th xxx
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I was given low dose antidepressants with the side effects make you sleepy to take at night.
I could take up to three but do not because lots of pills make my liver not cope unless drink loads water and alcohol not good to take as well. I have put on weight. I think that is side effects so that depresses me.
Yes not clear cut answer because need to do lots things to cope like forcing yourself to go out,even if do not feel like it. Eating healthy, moving, doing something for others to take mind off it, trying to do enjoyable things even if just knitting if you like it or whatever. Sounds I am just trotting out what we have heard before. I hate taking them but are addictive and hence don’t take high dose although think I am used to it and not as effective.
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I’ve been on mirtazapine for the last year. It takes a few days to kick in, but it really does give you a decent night’s sleep. It’s also helped with the anxiety.
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Interesting to read all the comments. I’ve just been through the 2yr anniversary of losing my partner, and I definitely found the 2nd year harder.
On top of that the last month has seen me have to tackle the first real crisis in the home - something that we’d have dealt with together, and he’d have definitely been a calming influence.
So now I find I’m unable to sleep because I keep going over everything again and again, thinking about how to cope with more problems that haven’t even arisen yet, and generally getting increasingly anxious about stuff. This makes me wonder if I should be talking to a GP and accepting pills if they’re offered? Any thoughts?
St John’s Wort is a good natural alternative to antidepressants.
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Hello Wisteria i have been taking Mirtazipine for two weeks now for anxiety and it is a great help. Looking back i should have sought help sooner but thought i could manage and it would pass but it didn’t. Perhaps book a gp appointment and talk it over and then decide. We are all going through such a dreadful time we need all the help we can get. Sending you support and a hug.
@Louise19 I just came across your post. So very sorry for your loss. Hope you are doing as ok as possible.
Just wanted to empathise as my Dad was diagnosed with bile duct cancer in January, after suddenly becoming very ill in December, and he died on the 20th Feb.
Not many people have heard of it (I hadn’t beforehand) but it was awful my dad was so ill and in so much pain, there was hardly any options. I still feel robbed of my fit and healthy dad by this awful cancer (he was 79).
My mum is heartbroken, and so are my sisters and I. We keep going and supporting my mum as much as we can but it’s hard.
Take care x
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It’s literally changed my life. No more cancelling appointments and meet-ups as I’ve had no sleep, and it’s taken away most of the anxiety.
Just a short update from me - I went to the GP, no pills but referred to a series of sessions of CBT. We’ll see how that goes, I was a little concerned about medication, but also not certain what CBT is going to bring - but trying to keep an open mind on that.
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I finished my six CBT but it wasn’t long enough.
You just get six spread out and lots homework then feels like dropped.
So struggling to do it on my own again as got all course notes. CBT does help but you need support. Hard being a widow.
I was told to keep a worry diary. Then do a special time when you keep for worries. So park them. Then decide if I. Can do something about it then go through the goal setting strategy
To do something about worries can solve. Supposed to get second nature if you can stick at it
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