my stepson just asked me to go to their house for a barbecue tomorrow. DinLs family will be there. I don’t know what to do. its been almost 9 weeks and I’m absolutely terrified of going and having a meltdown I haven’t been anywhere socially since the funeral but I feel I’ll be letting them down if I don’t try. I hate this new me. I was normally confident and talking Janine into things she’d subsequently enjoy.
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Do whatever is best for you xxx
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@Deb5 is right our journeys are extremely difficult if we just look after ourselves. Considering the feelings of others makes it far harder.
Be selfish, do what suits YOU!
If you want to try and compromise, tell him upfront you’ll just pop in for 10 minutes to say hello and have a sausage.
Many of us feel lonely in a crowd, I’m quite upfront and if Im asked to go to this type of thing, I say it makes me very upset, so please forgive me if I leave early, but I’ll do my best.
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Wait til tomorrow and then make a decision. Maybe just pop in, say hello, and go home after you ate something. But if you think it is too overwhelming then say no, sorry but I cannot handle it. You have to protect yourself and your mental wellbeing. I also lost my self-confidence when my husband suddenly died four months and three days ago. Sending lots of love and hugs.
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Hi Boby I know how you feel I was invited to a family barbecue this weekend and I was in two minds and dreading it
But I went and I’m glad I did people where so supportive
I know my wife would have wanted me to go
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I went to the bbq and coped. everyone was very kind. not going to say I enjoyed it but I managed to not dissolve and stay reasonably together. thank you all for your support. I’m not sure how I’d get on without this group.
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You really should go, the advice I was given is quite simple, people will stop asking if you keep saying no, and so what if u have a meltdown, it’s Ur family they are there to help and support and that’s what they are trying to do by inviting you, I’m sure it partner would want u to go 
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