My beautiful Sweetpea has been battling cancer since 2016. Following an insufficiency fracture in the sacro ilium in March 22, resurfacing of lymph node cancer in the L3-5 region, she is now stage 4. Having had immunotherapy and now no further treatment recommended since her one kidney can’t cope, prognosis is “ weeks to months”. Palliative home care, lame leg and foot with severe pain that even a spinal cord stimulator implant does not prevent all the pain. Further affecting mental cognitively rapidly and I’m seeing a totally different person to the once bubbly, fit, once full of life person I once knew. I am now caring for her for two months straight with depression myself and its unbearable to see the decline. I can’t tell you how many times I cry day and night. I pray constantly. I am unable to work because it’s eating me up inside it’s sickening to my guts. It’s unbearable to say the least. God help her🙏
I’m so sorry to hear about your sweet pea and your pain. My husband is dying in a hospice and no longer recognises me. Back in April we had a totally normal life. The weeks in between have gradually robbed me of my soulmate bit by bit, mentally and physically. Sometimes I have howled with the anguish of it.
I can only sympathise with you as your beloved is in pain. I don’t think I would have had the strength to care for my husband at home, even if that had been possible in his case.
All I can say is that there must be a lot of people on this forum who understand what you feel and wish you the best. I hope you have people around you, supporting you.
Thank you Nina. I pray for you too. its gut wrenching to see these changes before ones eyes. I am flying my sister in from SA o live with me and care for my wife. I have no other nearby family support so its been a rocky road to say the least. The hospice and social services have been helping me as best as possible in making life more comfortable for her.
Stay strong and keep the faith. Richest Blessings.
Thank you. My beloved husband died this morning and is at peace from all his suffering.
Oh God Nina. I am so sorry for your loss. He is at rest and peace now with God. Please keep the faith. I have just broken down in tears for you. I don’t know what to say because I know what lies ahead for me too. Sincerest condolences.
So very sorry for your loss your in my thoights and prayers at this sad time xx
Thank you.
I am comforted that his suffering is over and he is at peace. At least I had been able to say everything I needed to him a few days ago when he was still living. I know that he understood it as he smiled.
God bless, our prayers and His strength and compassion be with you. 
I am sorry for you loss. My dad died on 27th June at home in his bed . My mum found him in bed dead. He had terminal cancer and we didnt know how long he had. It was in his lungs and he lost weight rapidly, in pain all the time. They said they couldn’t remove it because his lung was already damaged so no chemo for dad and no radiotherapy for him, just morphine. I know he’s not in pain now but i miss him. He has left a hole in our hearts.
I am sorry for your loss.
Sincere condolences. The pain must be unimaginable. May your dear dad rest in peace and you know in your heart although you wish him still here, he is pain free and at rest in the house if the Lord. Gods blessings be with you.
Hi Nina.
How are you, I hope you are/ have been coping with the loss of your husband.
I haven’t been on here since we last chatted. I lost my darling Sweetpea on August 5, in hospice too. it’s just gone 5 months. If it wasn’t for my commitment to my work, I think I would have gone nuts already. But saying that, I am not coping well at all in the after hours, lack of sleep, no motivation, illness, and injury to make matters worse. My sister goes back to SA end of January and she has been tremendous support for me. Naturally she’s worried about me when I’m eventually really and truly on my own.
I hope you have had support and managing grief. It’s certainly not getting any easier as in my case. I think it’s only getting worse.
Anyway, time will tell. Have faith and take care. God bless