Around 2 weeks ago, my FiL was diagnosed with terminal Liver cancer, he`d been waiting 4 weeks or so for his consultant appointment to discuss the scan results and my wife went with her dad to the appointment, and it hit them really hard as you can imagine.
At the time, I was already thinking it would be bad, and I thought I was reasonably together, but its hit me now like a tonne of bricks.
He has continued to deteriorate at such a rapid pace to the point that he broke his arm getting into bed possibly due to the cancer spreading to his bones.
My wife is staying in the local area so she is close and I am trying to “hold the fort” with the kids and house etc, but everything seems so pointless and I have a swirling pain in my chest.
He is an amazing man, almost like a dad to me also and to see him suffer is just the absolute worst thing in the world. To my wife his is everything and I want to support her but how can I if I am such a mess
Hi, sorry you are in this devastating situation. I can’t really offer any words to ease the pain, other than to say that there are people here in this forum who can empathise all too well… Grief is like no other pain and we’re all doing it in our own way. Take each day as it comes, accept any support that is offered and try not to impose expectations on anyone, particularly yourself. Best wishes, take care xx
He is now getting confused and upset. He told everyone he loves them very much. Its amazing how even now he is worried more about others.
I think he is very close to the end now. I`ve had quite a good cry but I am so concerned about the future and what it holds. What is life actually for if we just die in pain? Its so unfair
@Rosiepink Thank you so much. That is very true and we have pulled together to support each other. My wifes family are taking vigils by his bedside until he passes now. He has been sedated so sleeping mostly so at least he can get rest from the pain.
I have started putting things in place to try and help me and I have started a voice diary. One thing that is getting to me is that I have seen him for the last time 2 weeks ago and what I should have said. At that point we thought he was going to live at least another month.
I know its not helpful thinking like that. I asked my wife to tell him that I loved him, and typically he said “thats nice” so at least he knows.
I`m not sure broken is the right word to describe how I am feeling, maybe forever damaged is better.
And here is the update I knew would eventually come. My Father in Law passed away peacefully at 4.30am, with my Mother in Law by his side. He was 77. Barry was an amazing, caring father and grandfather. His loss will be so keenly felt and will resonate through our lives for many years to come.
@ms81 Sorry to hear about your loss. I’m glad it was peaceful. My advice moving forward is to just take one day at a time. My Dad died in March & those early pre funeral days were horrendous. Best wishes to you all. X
