Anticipatory grief

LGBTQ+
1

I’m so frightened and grief stricken watching my partner if 23 yrs slowly fading away -
My mind is racing whilst I’m also feeling completely overwhelmed and numb :pensive:

2

Hello @JEM06,

I’m Alex, and I’m part of the Online Community team. I wanted to say thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your partner.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources which might be helpful right now.

  • Our Supporting someone at the end-of-life pages contain practical advice for those helping someone close to death and information about what you can expect when death is near.
  • Our Anticipatory grief page talks about the feelings associated with grief in the days, months or years before someone dies. This is known as anticipatory grief, as you are grieving for someone who is still alive.

I hope you find the community a good source of support to you.

Take good care - you are not alone.

Alex

3

Thanks Alex it was nice to get a reply as it’s my first post about my partner and I was struggling with words and what to say as I feel so exhausted most days I barely eat or eat too much of the wrong things .. the cats eat better than I do but they are such a comfort to me and something to focus on .. I feel helpless and brokenhearted all of the time and do everything I can to keep my partner comfortable and spend as much time with her as I can unless she can get a peaceful sleep which is when I can rest but I just find that my mind races with the “what ifs” and I cannot bear thinking of actually losing her ..it all seems too acutely painful so I try and shut those thoughts down with it’s not going to happen not today anyway .. I feel frightened and have lots of moments when I leave the room and cry guttural sobbing as far away from her so she can’t hear me but she always knows and picks up on my sorrow and try’s to comfort me which makes me feel so much sadder as she was always saying I was the strong one in the relationship but it was really her I now know and the thought of living without her I cannot comprehend as my mind won’t go there because when it does I fear that it’s going to be my fault because I had those thoughts and we got there quicker :disappointed_face:

I know it all sounds absolutely bonkers but I feel that way most days and I grieve for her so much as she was always the one to say don’t worry it will all be ok or was that me I’m feel like I’m losing my mind here :flushed_face: