Has anyone experienced anticipatory grief when their partner is still alive and well?
I’m mid sixties and husband is late seventies, no particular health issues, but I can’t seem to shake off thoughts of what will happen and how I’ll deal with his death; not necessarily the practicalities, but the thought of aging alone, without my rock, my life partner.
We don’t have a circle of friends and no close family, so it’ll be just me.
Usually I’m a capable, pragmatic sort but these feelings just won’t go away.
I know this is nothing compared with what others are going through, but I’d welcome anyone’s thoughts or experiences
@GeorgesServant GeorgesServantHello there was a recent post that covered exactly the same thing on here.
Iam not sure what the title of the conversation but it was definitely something that others have experienced too.
I experienced this too..but it was with my late mum long before she became ill at the end.It’s quite common to feel overwhelmed with feelings of dread ect just at the thought of someone we love passing away whilst they are still alive and healthy.
Loving someone deeply comes with a cost as there’s that hidden vulnerability we don’t knows even there until thought about them passing away one day.
One is being to experience feelings of bereavement even at that stage..it may not be at the same level as when someone does happen.Yet it creates enough emotional and psychological distress to even frighten us with the verythought of it happening.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Fortunately day to day living is not affected, but I can feel quite overwhelmed in quiet moments. Did you find any strategies that helped?
I think to talk to yourself as if you were a kind friend. Not beating yourself up about the thoughts and realising that it’s normal but it is just thoughts and they will pass. Try pushing the thoughts away with positive ones. Keeping busy is always key when you get overwhelmed and cherishing all moments together.
I can sympathise with that thought ,it’s your subconscious probably aware of the ticking of time and age difference. But please dont waste your time worrying about what we dont know ,I lost my husband out of the blue totally unexpectedly a few weeks ago when he was always the healthy one while I have the health issues . I always expected id go first. The thing is we just dont know what the future holds, try to find a small social life through volunteering a night school course or hobby so if anything did happen you’d have a friend or two or interest outside of the home. So many of us end up relying on just our partners for friendship company and never think what life would be like without them. At least it is in your thoughts so think of ways that may help if it ever did happen. But stop worrying if you can and just enjoy your life together.