Anticipatory Grief

Am I feeling grief? It hurts like grief I think. My wife has a terminal brain tumour and the oncologist has told me there’s not long. Has anyone gone through this and what was a help to you?

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Hello David6

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife’s illness.

Anticipatory grief, and grieving someone’s illness is very much a form of grieving, you might find Our Anticipatory Grief article a help.

I also wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful either now or in the future.

Please look after yourself, we are here for you
Take care,

I have my husband had cancer and we was told he only had six months he got pass the six months but passed away oct last year i found talking to his family help as they understand what i was going through also talking on here helps

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Good afternoon,

My mother fought with a terminal illness, Glioblastoma Type 4 (Brain tumour) she was diagnosed early August 2022. After her surgery the doctors were certain that my mum would survive. But weeks later, the tumour grew back making her scull very swollen. Mid September doctors said that my mum will need a home hospice ( they pretty much suggested that she will die eventually ) they didn’t say how long she’s got left but myself and my whole family hoped that she’d live at least another 2 years… unfortunately this wasn’t the case. My mum passed away on 10.10.2022 at 3.20pm… the tumour was so aggressive and my mummy lost her battle with this horrible disease…

When she was still here, poorly in bed, the grief kicked in before her passing.

Cancer really sucks

Sending my love

Susan .

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Dear David
My heart goes out to you. I knew for over ten years that I could lose my husband and he didn’t want anyone to know so I had no one I could ever talk to as he even refused to talk to me about it.
I think what kept me going was ‘hope’ and prayer. I learned all I could and changed our lifestyle which gave him years of extra time. We had no encouragement from Doctors who were patronising towards our decisions to go it our way but we felt we had nothing to lose. We wanted no information on ‘how long’ either. My husband said he was going to live for as long as he could and as well as he could and that was the end of it. No further conversations with Doctors and I personally don’t think they should ever give an opinion on the length of time someone might have. My husband defied them for years and we lived in hope until the very end although we both knew what the outcome was to be. But over ten years ealier they had written him off.