anxiety disorder and grief

my grandad died a few days ago in hospital. it was a unexpected death. he went into hospital with a blood clot, he caught corona in the hospital and was sent to the corona ward and died suddenly from it. i’m so sad about it. i can’t stop crying. i feel so much pain. i had a panic attack today. i am really
hurt it wasn’t his time to go and i don’t know how to cope with it, this is my first ever loss

I’m so sorry to hear about your grandad. You might not feel like you are but you are doing so well. Crying is good you are letting your emotions out and you have excepted that he is no longer here. Believe me not everyone can do this. You should be proud of yourself.
If it gets to much sit down and breathe, this might sound silly but deep breaths can Calm us a little.
You have just lost someone that has been there since the day you was born and you do not know what life is like with out him in it. It’s ok to panic or cry or feel anything else your feeling or thinking.
If you want to talk about him or the way you feel, I know I’m a complete stranger but I’m here. I know what it’s like to lose and I know how much it’s hurts.
Take care and be proud of your self

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thank you so much you are so kind. i am scared of the funeral i know it’s going to feel so sad. i’m sad for my auntie the most, she is heart broken of course
i brought her 2 special memorial gifts
it feels surreal
it’s sad because it shouldn’t of happened
thank you for being kind

i hope you’re ok

As you read I was so scared of Ruby’s funeral but I didn’t even realise that was what I was feeling at the time. It’s only when I look back now that is why I wouldn’t do it because I was scared. But yet again you are doing so well and being able to know that this is how your feeling. It’s going to be hard but try and think of it as a celebration of his life and look around at you and your family and you all come from him, what a achievement he was obviously so proud of and you will do him proud :heart: