I lost my husband suddenly to a heart attack on 30th December at just 50 years old. He wasn’t unwell or sick he simply went to work. we have been together since I was 16 and lived together for over 20 years and have a 16 year old daughter. I have this overwhelming chest pain like an ache that’s developed it’s like somethings sat on my chest I’m taking sertryline to help me sleep and but I just feel broken it’s just so hard to not think back to the hospital, flash backs to the critical care and replaying everything wanting to know every detail. I just want him to say it’s all going to be ok and feel him close. Any tips or advice welcome
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Hi Orange Cat
I’m so sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your husband. It must be such an awful shock to you and your family.
Grief can feel very physical, especially in the early days and months and when a wave of it comes over you. Almost 6 months have passed since my partner died. I feel it in my stomach and chest often as well as feeling so exhausted but unable to rest or sleep.
The physical pain of longing and missing him makes it hard to breathe sometimes which for me is the anxiety I feel when my head tells me yes, it’s really true. It’s horrible.
It’s good you have some medication and I’m guessing you’re talking to your GP. I also take beta blockers when I feel really anxious which helps.
The best advice I can give is be really really kind to yourself and only do what you want to do or really have to. Let the feelings out in whichever way feels safest to you. Sometimes I want to be at home alone to sob and cry. Sometimes it helps to go out for a walk or to meet a friend. If there is anything you need support with ask your friends and family. They may not know what to say or do. Don’t be afraid to tell them.
I’m sending you lots of love and hugs. Xx
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Hi Orange cat
I am so sorry for your loss , I also lost my husband suddenly to a heart attack.He wasn’t ill either, in the early months you can get physical symptoms. I was physically sick at one point, it also the shock of what had happened as well . Take things slowly day by day or hour by hour if need be . Be kind to yourself 
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Hi Orangecat30
I’m so sorry for your loss your heartbreak.
I’m almost 4 months in this grief storm having lost my husband to dreadful cancer.
Initially I had difficulty swallowing food and fluid as though a blockage in my throat. This has passed though appetite diminished.
I have a tight gripping feeling around my middle an ache in my chest aching shoulders, my mind reliving his last days of life.
There is no easy answer I can give you.
It is unbelievably hard we have no choice but to carry on and it isn’t going to be easy.
I know my husband would want me to carry on, give me the strength to do so, to support me and help me through.
You are at the very early stages in this grief storm for which I’m giving you a big hug. You’re hurting of course you are please look after yourself.
You are not alone.
We all take comfort from one another on this site. Take care 
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Hi Claudie,
I lost my own husband to cancer so I know how your feeling. Sending you a big hug x
Hi Orangecat30
I am so sorry for your loss. You need to be kind to yourself and just do what you feel you need to do. X I lost my dad when I was 16yrs old. I’m on here for my husbands passing from cancer at 58yrs old.
I just wanted to make sure you’ve seen a GP about your chest feeling like someone’s sat on it because my mum had that and she had actually had a heart attack. I’m hoping your ok and I’m not wishing to worry you. Xx
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I have yesterday and she said it’s anxiety and the fight or flight with the cold rush of fear. I am just taking it day by day and making sure our daughter is supported too such a big year for her too with her exams but he wouldn’t want her stressing. Thanks for your replies it’s just talking to someone who’s in the same boat so many assume they know how you feel 
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Im glad you’ve been checked out. Yes the body reacts differently with everybody. I suffered with migraines which turned out to be high blood pressure and panic attacks where I couldnt breathe. You just have to ride the wave unfortunately and come up for air. Minute by minute, hour by hour,day by day. Be kind to yourself always. I hope your daughter is managing to revise. Something to focus on because she will be feeling scared of the big wide world and under a cloud. I know people say children can adapt. Yes they can because they have to, just like we do. But it changes you as a person and your outlook on life even at 16. I was very angry with the world and at others who were insensitive. Sending you both big hugs. Take care my friend x
Good luck to your daughter on her exams. X
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Orangecat the same thing happened to my wife and it’s been 9 months, everything in my life has completely stopped and I am unable to have any sort of decent life. I wish I could offer you some comforting word but I am a complete mess.
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Hi Sadslob
I’m so sorry you have lost your wife and you feel everything in your life has stopped. This forum understands how painful and devastating our grief is. I hope you and everyone on here can get some comfort from sharing with others who are on similar journeys.
Sending hugs x
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I can relate to how you’re feeling. I lost my husband suddenly 5 months ago . My world was turned upside down. I am trying to navigate my way through the rollercoaster of grief. I have this site to be really good everyone understands how we are feeling. I hope you find the same
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I’m so sorry to hear this life is brutal at times, I’m trying to just take it hour by hour and think what would he do and learn how to be it’s not easy but my daughter needs some kind of routine. X
I’m so sorry for your loss . I know it doesn’t make you feel better but everyone on this site has been on the same emotional rollercoaster ride. I’m 5 months into my grief following my partner’s sudden death. I think that reading the posts will give your feelings validation. Even if you have support, family and friends may not really understand how awful you feel. Have you tried counselling? It’s not for everyone but some find it beneficial. You could ask at your GP surgery.
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Can you exercise every day? That’s what helped me the first year. I walked twice/day even if only up to the end of the road and back. I think it helps diminish your stress hormones and calm your nervous system down.