I’m so very sorry for the loss of your husband. I’m going through exactly the same with the anxiety, panic attacks and sleepless nights, and I know how exhausting and frightening it can be. None of us should have to walk this path, but it does help to know we’re not alone. I’m hoping, like you, that with time, support and taking one day at a time, we’ll find a way to carry this grief.
I am considering grief counselling - have you or anyone experienced this & has it been of benefit ?..
Sending you lots of love, strength and a big hug- please reach out to us , I sm new to this page but already finding it a comfort
Hi Anniem I hope you are have had a peaceful morning. When my wife’s mother died, she had a lot of problems coming to terms with her lose and we found a therapist that helped her a lot. I think that talking about these things is beneficial. Whether with a therapist, in bereavement groups, writing journals or posting on sites like this it all helps to work through our grief. I personally joined a bereavement group soon after my wife died. It was one run by the church and it did help me at the time. I hope you find some things that bring you a little relief
Thank you Tom again, I am not having a good day today so I appreciate your reply & advice.It is good to talk but I can’t change what has happened just to try accept it.
Dear Anniem my wife was given five months five months to live when she was diagnosed with bile duct cancer. Fortunately she survived almost two years but from the moment we were told that, our lives were crushed. We left the oncology hospital holding eachother in tears. My wife had the time to come to terms with her own mortality. She read books, went back to the therapist I mentioned before, spoke to priests and we talked for hours about how, why me etc. My wife made friends with other cancer patients some young girls in their twenties and thirties. All of the closest died before she did. When she was in hospital for the last weeks of her life she spent her time consoling others bringing everyone to tears. She died in my arms and her last breath was a call to her mother. I hope she is in heaven in her mother’s arms now. Maybe one day I will be able to remember these things without crying. For the moment we just have to carry on. I’m so pleased you have a son to look after you. I hope you find some peace today. Wishing you all the strength you will need and sending hugs
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond to my post. Anxiety can be quite severe at times. Like you considering grief counselling. Please let me know how the counselling goes. I have been looking myself on line but it is difficult to navigate. Take care and look after yourself
Hi Anniem I am sorry you are finding things so difficult. How are you coping? Have you found any bereavement groups? I hope you have a peaceful evening and you manage to sleep well tonight
Wishing you all the strength you will need and sending hugs Tom
Hope you had 1 of those ‘good’ days? coping I am not so sure , existing I would say.I am leaning or should I say begging on friends - I feel a burden.The bereavement groups I have sort help from have said my grief is too early so try again in 12 weeks!
Just another not so good day - maybe tomorrow will be better if I stay in bed
Thank you for thinking of me, I hope to post a good day if it happens
Hi Anniem I am surprised about the bereavement groups. Most of the bereavement groups are just meet ups with people in similar circumstances which is why there is no need to wait. I know that for therapy from your GP they often talk about starting after a period of time though I can’t see why myself, I would look into other groups like WAY ( widow and young),Katherine house hospice, SDBLSS, or the Dove service. As I have mentioned I think in an earlier post my way of dealing with the pain is exercise, lots of walking etc it helps. I hope you find something that helps you wishing you all the best
Hi Folks, I was in despair when Penny died, yet another trauma to cope with, I just added it to the PTSD I was struggling with from working for a company with a psychopathic culture. I was desperate to find peace in my thoughts. Almost by accident, I found mindfulness and a coach to guide me. She totally understood my issue, and over the following weeks and months, I learnt how to be aware of my thoughts (mindful!!), and learnt how to permanently look at them in a way which didnt beat me up. My life had changed in a positive and permanent way, and I coped far better than I could have hoped for. It was hard work, and it needed a lot of personal honesty from me. It was nothing like the traditional view of mindfulness, which is often seen as staring at a daffodil and emptying our minds. We had weekly sessions as a group of about 8 of us, and we met on zoom, it surprised me that this worked extremely well. I know at the moment, Fiona is concentrating on helping ladies through mid life challenges. If you want contact details, please ask.
so I appreciate your reply & advice.It is good to talk but I can’t change what has happened just to try accept it.
x
