Ever since my dad passed away in April I noticed my anxiety had returned shortly after and I just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced this and what helped as I don’t want medication from the doctor. I did try valerian herbal but found these are very strong for me and did not agree.

Dear @Tree1, anxiety is very difficult to cope with. My GP gives me Propranolol for it, but it doesn’t work, and I want my Diazepam, but as it is very addictive, they only give a few tablets. It’s really frustrating, as I will not use them except when I really need to, but the GP doesn’t trust me.

As you don’t want to go down the medication route, you can try CBT or mindfulness. I find mindfulness helps with anxiety because it can help control my hyperventilation. It isn’t a magic bullet, but it gives some help.

As for herbal remedies, there are a few people I know have tried, but I think the rules of this website stop us from suggesting any medications.

Hi. Tree. Medication is a very controversial subject. Some do need it urgently, and trying to go it alone in extreme anxiety is not a good idea. You must talk to your GP if it’s like that. I say extreme because anxiety varies so much from person to person. If it begins to interfere with your life then action should be taken. Some form of anxiety will almost certainly follow bereavement. We are lost and anxious about the future. Now anxiety always has its root in fear. No fear no anxiety. Anxiety symptoms are your body’s response to danger inherited from our ancestors. We may feel we are in a dangerous situation, alone with few who understand. The fight/flight syndrome clicks in. It’s a perfectly natural response to danger. People who are anxious usually lock themselves in the cycle of fear/anxiety/ fear.
Fear breeds anxiety and anxiety fear. In the absence of any medication acceptance is a good attitude. No fighting or struggling with ‘IT’, it’s a battle you can never win and only makes it worse. By acceptance I mean when the symptoms come go with them. (Difficult ). Bend with the wind. No resistance. Trees break if they don’t bend. It is so difficult to realise that anxiety is a perfectly normal response to what you are going through. If you did not feel anxious that would be a cause for concern!
Try not to worry about why you are worrying. See what I mean?
Take care. John.

Thank you for your reply and im still trying to work it out x

Thank you for your reply and im still trying to work it out. X

What’s to work out? If we accept the inevitability of pain and fear then those two emotions will be seen for what they are. The result of a life trauma. Because that is what has happened, a trauma. So many suffer from PTSD without realising it. If we broke our leg would we be worrying about how long it would take to heal? We would accept it will take time and go about our business as best we can knowing all will be well. . Now that may seem as if I am minimising the awful pain of grief, I am not!
Two years ago I was there, in the middle of the pain and emotional upsets.
I began to realise that ‘going with it’ was far better then trying to ‘fight it off’ to speed recovery. That is not possible because grief is a process that takes time. How long? How long is a piece of string.? It depends so much on our temperament and attitude to our loss. When I say ‘go with the symptoms’ I mean give in to the emotions. Not give up, that’s different, and the pathway to continual pain. If we ‘give up’ we allow negative emotions to flood in. I am not saying any of this is easy, it’s not! It means drawing on that courage we all have but so often remains unseen.
The life lessons I have learned did help me cope. I now know that ‘resistance is futile’. Not everyone will see it this way and I fully accept that.
We tread a lonely path, and no matter what help we may be given, the pain can still be unbearable. John.

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Thank you John xxxxx

Hello tree1,
Yes to anxiety, yes to confusion despair feeling lost in myself.
So all I can offer is a virtual hug, ans the thought that I am a tree hugger,
I send love, and whilst on a daily walk, to a lonely place, I talk to myself, occasionally scolded, occasionally laughing due to a memory. Often increased emotional pain due to circumstances, beyond a control. The walk allows the reflection, the consideration, the determination, and a moments opportunity to regain a resolve. Walking, walking, and occasionally company to give others in the grip of grief, to talk and be listened to.
Again a virtual hug