Glad you had a good nights sleep. I won’t be eating sweets in the evening again .Sugar and anxiety are not a good pairing. Up showered and my washing is out , got the musuem this afternoon which keep me busy and just a baked potato and chicken for tea me thinks tdy. Hope your day goes well x
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After a reasonable weekend my friend anxiety is back this morning and reminding me it can kick me when I least expect it. Feeling weepy and tired but the day is new and the sun is out so a shower and breakfast beckons.
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Morning all, I have a heavy heart breathing hurts today, feeling really low .
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Yes sun is out I’m going to shower nbhave a cry while I do then start my day. X
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Bless you Griff this rollercoaster of emtions is tough. I hope the weekend was a reasonable one. This weather does’nt help as it brings back memories and all with them the what iff’s. But walk this path we must and I know that their guiding hand is on our shoulders Take care my friend xx
Thanks Shirley, I m presenting a cheque today from Graham’s just giving page instead of flowers at funeral maybe it’s that which is making me sad.
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Yes that could very well be the case. Donations from Chris’s funeral went to the local District Nurses Team they were here evey step of the way for 4 years and were in his eyes the unsung heroes of the NHS . Graham will be there with you so get the lippy on and go for it xxx
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Shirley you always make me smile, the lippy is out x
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Hi Shirley
I totally agree with what you say about the district nurses. They got more work put onto them during covid but still came with a smile on their face and were the most helpful of everyone we came across in the NHS. They are definitely the unsung heroes xx
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Likewise Barbara they came twice a week as Chris had a picc -line in ,always with a smile , they were out in the community and at times at bigger risks than the public at large realised. I’m still in touch with one of them and she has become a good friend.
Mark had a picc line in too. Made getting his chemo much easier as they always had trouble finding a vein. He was like a pin cushion bless him the amount of times they tried getting blood or getting cannulas in.xx
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Chris had one in for 4 years it worked once you get into a routine with the pump it became a way of life . Xx
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Hope it went well and you’re ok xx
My friend is back why is anxiety so bad in the morning and then for me at least it eases off by late afternoon. New bed arrived yesterday and it openned up the flood gate again of emotions as they took the old one away. I told myself that it was a positive move and it was going to a young man who needed to furnish a flat so that he could have his children to stay. It was to big and empty since Chris died and I had real problems sleeping a full night in it so needed a small bed with no 'memories". Wondering how others deal with the ‘empty’ bed or do as some have told me move into another bedroom ? S
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Hi Shirley, I can understand why you done it. I don’t think I could, it gives me comfort to know he once laid there. But I do have a teddy bear on Doug’s side of the bed, a friend suggested it.
Debbie
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I understand where you are coming from Debbie I too put a teddy on Chris’s side of the bed but it just didn’t offer any comfort or peace of mind. All that stayed with were those last few days before the hospital bed arrive when I couldn’t comfort him when he had night terrors and just laid there till the morphine kicked worrying that I’d find he fallen out of bed or worst. I want my bedroom to be the calm and tranquile place it once was so if I wake in the night the memories are good ones . S
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@Shirleymc Yes, the pump was what my Sharon had. Unfortunately where I am, the district nurse department had 7 managers and 2 nurses, so they just couldn’t cope, so we paid privately. My girl never ever moaned, complained. She had 40 of the very worst chemos known (62% of the population can only handle one), she was so brave, so tough, refused to surrender, but she was taken anyway. I can’t even start to begin to let go of everything I’m bottling up.
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Morning Graham’s headstone has gone up its lovely but has knocked me for 6 again its so final.
I’m going to stay with family this weekend and do some walking so hopefully that will lift my spirits else I will lift bottled spirits 
x
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Bless you Griff make the most of your time with family and raise a glass or two while you’re there x
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Hi, I’m having a crying session sat at dinner table 1st time alone for a while , I text family and friends and no ones around so I’m telling you all. I feel so out of control of my emotions at these times its awful.
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