I lost my mum on 2nd Feb after a 5 year battle with alzeimers. At first I was numb, but now I am full of anxiety and have a constant horrible feeling in my stomach.
It’s an effort to carry on as normal and I just want to sleep. The funeral is 6th March. I’m hoping for some closure and relief from the stress.

Hi Caz,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your mum. Grief can bring all kinds of different feelings, and both numbness and anxiety are really common. It’s very early days for you, so it’s important to be kind to yourself and take things day by day.

Having outlets for your feelings is also really helpful, whether that’s by talking to supportive friends and family, or by writing things down here on the site. I’m sorry to see that you haven’t had any replies yet, but, while you wait for more replies, you might also find it helpful to take a look at these past conversations about anxiety and grief. Feel free to post a reply if you’d like to join in:

Hi Caz
I am so sorry for your loss. My dad too had alzheiemers he passed away March 2017. He was diagnosed at a very young age. I miss him so much and still suffer every day with anxiety and panic attacks. Having read a few posts its all normal to feel these emotions. I went to see the GP and he prescribed beta blockers to help with the anxiety. I felt exactly the same as you and it’s still really early days for you. Just do what you can and take one day at a time. I understand your pain it’s the worst ever. Take care and make sure you look after yourself. If you ever need to talk im here X

Hi there Caz- So sorry about your Mum. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. My Dad passed away on 9th December 2017 and I too have a constant horrible feeling in my stomach which is awful but I guess this is all part of the grieving process. My advice is to talk to others about how you are feeling. I still have Mum but I was very close to Dad and now have a bit of resentment towards Mum who has carers now four times a day and it is so hard and I feel responsible for her but at the same time do not want that responsibility. I guess like you it will just take time and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Look after yourself and contact me whenever you want to chat.

I would also be interested to hear from others in a similar situation and what worked for them

Hi. I’m new to this but I can share a little of how my feelings have changed since losing my Mum in October and what has helped me. I too felt awful mentally and physically after she died. I found that after her funeral the stress eased a little. Little by little over time the sadness is less consuming. It still gets me but rather than every hour of every day I can now go a good few days without that dreadful feeling of total loss and pain. I’ve recently started meditating (great app for that on apple called calm) also counselling, when you are ready. Talk to somebody who you can be honest with and get it all out. I’ve just posted my first post on here also. Sometimes I just need to get it off my chest. I hope your pain is eased soon. But don’t be afraid of the pain.

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Sorry to hear about you loosing your parent.

My father passed away on Valentine’s day last Wednesday… and I have awful anxiety, my heart beats so fast all the time.
But sometimes I feel as if nothing has happened at all, almost like I’m numb to it…but then I see my mum and the anxiety comes flooding back and I feel so sad for her it breaks my heart.
Do any of you have advice on how to cope with it?

My dads death was very sudden, he had a massive stroke and went into a coma. With in a day they told us he was brain stem dead…
I just don’t know the best way to support my Mum, I’m only 21 and I live in a house share but I’m having to move home to help support her, this is also hard for me as I love my house and I hate change and it’s all so much change.

Thank you, Natalie xx

Think carefully about moving home to support your Mum as am sure you can support her in other ways. You still have to live your life. I had that dilemma when Dad passed away and you are very young and have a lot of living to do. What else could you do to support your Mum and is there any other family to help. Your own needs should come first in my opinion and support your Mum as much as possible but not at the expense of your own life. Best wishes

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