Hi has anyone got any tips for anxiety I lost my beautiful mam on the 12 Nov and anxiety hasent left my side it comes and waves and sometimes get so bad I can’t hardly breath my hands have stared shaking and I sleep for about five hours then it’s like an alarm clock in my head I just wake up and get up my chest is tight most of the time it’s like a constant loop every day I’ve had the same routine for over twenty years visiting mam every day I’m now I’m realy struggling has anyone got any tips to help please xx
Hi Joanne,
I don’t have any tips for controlling your anxiety apart from to say it’s early days & your loss is so recent that you being able to sleep at all is an achievement. Sitting down & taking slow deep breaths until the panic passes might help but because the panic is caused by grief it may prove harder than that.
I’m so sorry for your loss & I’m sure someone else will be along soon with some advice.
I’m so sorry for your loss and agree with the comment above that it is early days and while grief looks different for everyone many people can have strong physical and emotional responses like anxiety and one of the most important things you can do is be kind to yourself.
Some possible thoughts - mindfulness (deep breathing like Anna said is a great simple way to try this and just concentrate on your breaths) and grounding techniques may be one small thing you can try to ease your symptoms. The rule of 5 (5 senses) is quite a straightforward one wherever you are concentrate on 1 thing you can see, what can you hear, what can you smell, what can you touch/feel, what can you taste. Also tensing muscles in your body to centre yourself - progressive muscle relaxation is a good way to release stress from your body (Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Benefits, How-To, Technique).
I’m also just wondering if you have someone you can talk to? Places like Cruse Bereavement can offer helpline, group and one on one support and you may find talking helps provide some relief or at least help you to process what you are going through.
In time and when you are ready you could consider ways to honour and memorialise your mum and keep her memory going e.g. memory boxes or little rituals that remind you of her. It’s such early days for you and for many grief can feel like a whirlpool and out of control so it’s important to try and look after ourselves in whatever way works best for you.
For me, I threw myself into admin at first after losing mum and my guilt over some of the things I did or didn’t do kept me up at night in the weeks and months that followed her death. I found talking to her as if she were there eased some of these feelings, my grief therapist recommended the ‘empty chair’ or to write a letter something that allows you to talk to them as a way to process all those horrible feelings. This did help to an extent and also talking to people when I needed to on my terms. Exercise too as much as I could helped release a lot of anxiety - doesn’t have to be gruelling but just a way to release some tension.
Bringing it back to you maybe consider things that may have helped anxiety for you before. Of course this is in no way to minimise the grief you are feeling, far from it, but if there are things that helped you release stress and tension before, it’s worth thinking about trying them here, could be journalling, could be picking up the phone to Samaritans at night if you can’t sleep and need emotional support, could be imagining something comforting your mum would say to you.
But also if you ever get really worried about your symptoms like feeling unable to breathe, it may be worth seeking advice from your GP for e.g., that’s for you to judge or course, but just to bear in mind if this persists or worsens.
Take good care. You are not alone.
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Thankyou big huggsxc
Thankyou everyone I’m trying to keep busy and take my time it is early days I just feel as though it will never end I’ve rang my gp he’s sending me for an ecg after Xmas and blood test to rule anything out which I know is anxiety and not anything else Thankyou for everyone replies I realy appreciate each and everyone of you it’s nice having people on the same page and support big hugsx.
Thank you for responding and love and hugs