Thank you, sleep is all over the place and every night I am petrified someone is going to break in.
Hope you sleep well.
x
Aww I’m so sorry 
don’t get why some parents are like that I brought up my eldest single handed apart from the help of my dearly departed mother if u you ever need to talk you can private message me and I’m on Facebook aswell where are you from may I ask nobody deserves to go through grief alone just have faith your beloved father is free from pain and will always love you and be by your side x
I live in Southport Merseyside area.
I am not on Facebook, as I don’t really do social media. It can be quite a troubled place so I avoid it.
I hope my Dad is right by my side. I need him.
Seeing the bereavement counsellor this morning, but I don’t think it is helping, I don’t know. Nothing helps, because nothing brings back that loss.
How are you coping?
Xx
You’ve described it so well, that horrible dread of the calls and the walk across the hospital car park amongst much more. I live across the road from the hospital my mum was is before she went to her care home, the place where we had our last walk before she became immobile, the place she very rapidly declined mentally and physically. The place we got terrible news, all that dread I have triggered daily as I see it. It feels very much like it’s something we have to live with but I don’t feel it’s something that can be constantly dealt with while living a happy life 
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad in November and have developed bad anxiety too - insomnia, panic attacks, also struggle to go out alone whereas before I was very independent.
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@Samantha7 That sounds like torture in itself, living in such proximity to a place holding so many reminders. I can’t imagine the images it must conjure for you. Have you had therapy or been offered it? I was going to look into grief counselling this year. I think I need some coping strategies for anxiety other than the drug route.
So sorry for your loss. Yes, I’m anxious all the time, and every time I go out I’m terrified, because if something happens, there’s no-one at home to call. A policeman came to tell me my partner had died in his car, so now each time there’s a knock on the door, I jump out of my skin. GP has prescribed some medication which helps with the sleeping as well as the anxiety.
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I’m just trying to keep busy and aww your from
Liverpool my father was from the Wirral but mum was Cornish it was 6 months yesterday my fiancé Steve passed away when I cry it breaks my heart knowing I’ll never see him again and angry I was kept away from his funeral etc even more upset now as lost his death certificate I do hope you can heal in time being young hurts a lot more I’m not saying I can cope because I can’t but I’m stronger if that makes sense just Never thought he would go so quickly x please seek counselling at least you have someone to talk to and let it all out not good to keep it all in when I lost my mother 12 years ago i rebelled a lot and it cost me 22 years relationship with my girls father who is now happily married x
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Im from the Wirral not far from you. My mother passed in November. Im having a bad day today. Anxiety seems to be taking over me. I was her main carer and feeling such a loss. Takecare
Anxiety has a way of sneaking up on you. 
It’s really hard when you’ve had such a close relationship, it feels like you lose your whole purpose somehow. 
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Yes, that’s about an hour from Southport I think. Sorry your having a bad day, it’s like waves of emotions flooding through and every day is filled with sadness, but some days feel even harder, although everyday is a challenge and everyday I cry, because it is still so rore inside.
Hugs
Xx
It’s almost like you lose your identity somehow.
Xx
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I am about an hour from the Wirral.
I am having bereavement counselling at the moment, so it has to be a plus, although it doesn’t feel like it’s helping, it must be.
Xx
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Keeping busy is a distraction from our new realities, but then it comes back with a vengeance.
Xx
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Yes definitely keeping busy helps. Ive just started counselling too. Ill see how it goes. Its got to help in some way. The councillor suggested writing things down helps.
Hugs to you 
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I know it sounds crazy, but I send WhatsApp messages to my Dad most days, telling him how I feel and what I have done.
I like to think, that he can somehow read them in the spirit world.
I have also wrote poems and songs, writing is a good way to release emotion.
I have started doing it with everything now that affects me, I write it out and then just keep hold of it, so I can refer to it at anytime.
I had to go into town yesterday and I hated it, I had to tell myself it’s ok, you’re ok, you can do this, but town is somewhere I mainly avoid and since Dad passed, I definitely avoid, but yesterday I didn’t have a choice and it was awful. It was overwhelming and I couldn’t walk fast enough to get out!
I don’t know if this is normal, but I need to be around peace and calm.
I used to even watch the soaps and now I can’t stand them since my loss.
I used to play the role of being dutiful to my mother and brother, but since Dad passed, I’ve cut the ties with them, as they are toxic and cruel and now I’ve lost my Dad, nothing will ever pain me like this again.
My Dad divorced and he was both parents.
I have also cut some friendships, as a couple of them were not genuine and I can’t have anything in my life now, that’s going to be negative.
I’m doing this grieving mostly on my own and it’s a rocky road and a fight to get through, but I’m pushing myself to try and be kind to myself, but all I want is my Dad and the angels have took him away. I believe we will see our loved ones again be reconnected. That’s the only thing that keeps me going.
I am going to start volunteering in the Sue Ryder shop in Burscough, because it will give me some sort of focus and as a partially sighted woman, it might give me a tiny bit of confidence somewhere along the line.
I guess since Dad passed, I am decluttering all the negatives and trying to make room for calmness and meeting people that mean well to me and vise verser, but it’s a hell of a cruel journey right now, since I lost my world.
Xx
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Hi
I have been thinking about you these past days and have to say you are coming across as being more positive and hope that continues for you
7 weeks after my wife passing I too send texts and emails and I too find it hard getting out as I feel I’m parting With. Her and feel the urge to get home
It’s all so early and raw for us but keep doing what you’re doing and hopefully it’ll get a little easier
T x
Hi Terry,
I am just trying to push myself into the right directions and away from all toxic and negative people, because since Dad, and having my biggest, most painful loss I will ever have, removing the bad energies from my life, was the right thing for me.
It is hard being almost alone and that is why, I am pushing myself to volunteer with the Sue Ryder charity shop in Burscough, because I might meet some good people along the journey.
I message and talk to Dad everyday and I cry everyday.
There is a big hole in my heart now, where the ocean load of tears have flooded through.
Some of the other members of the family are extremely toxic, negative and disrespectful towards my Dad and me and it was always just me and Dad.
He was the one that got custody and he was, is, everything to me.
We were, are 1.
I used to be his angel, but now he is mine.
Let’s hope they are looking over us.
X
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It feels right that I have removed all negatives away from me, even though my life is empty right now.
X