Our family seem to order Xmas things online so kids can look in a catalogue.
But I can’t decide what to get so end up giving the money instead. No longer enjoy Xmas. Try to go shopping and used to buy own presents give to my husband to give you my son to wrap. Otherwise I got things that were not used. Would rather get an experience.
Last year paid for first afternoon tea with my son on my no happy returns golden wedding anniversary ten days after buried my husband. I couldn’t find the Christmas tree chocolates to hang on the tree this year. That was what I was looking for.
I can’t get any excitement when my husband will be absent again as he didn’t live long enough to be there.
I do not think this year I will put out his photo on the table again.
I have always enjoyed Christmas, even after my father suddenly died Christmas Eve in 1984. I know it will be really hard this year, first one without Keef, but last year he didn’t really participate, he wasn’t interested in eating or interacting with any of the family because he was starting to feel ill. This year both my son and my daughter, with her family, are coming for the day as they know it will be hard. I usually buy pressies online but am planning on a couple of shopping trips with friends and family in December. Keef didn’t really like Christmas so perhaps that will make it a bit easier for me in a way but still difficult. Take care xx
I think we should celebrate Christmas even in a watered down way for the sake of our family and our own heads.
My partner had “an episode” the day after his 66th birthday at home and went into a hospice for the last few weeks till he died on Friday 13th January. I was on holiday alone when I got the news. He had all his family with him so was surrounded with love when he just stopped breathing. It was better that I wasnt there as no one knew about me till December when he couldn’t move. I’m glad to have given him some joy at the end.
Guess life goes on but differently. Tykey got some solace by going to the shepherds hut with the dogs so I’ll continue having our photos all over my house even though it might look a bit creepy…
It’s coming up to my birthday and I realised that we’d never celebrated Christmas nor our birthdays together. It’s making me feel so sad even though I’m having a party for some friends this Sunday, some of whom had met him when we first started dating.
My son says some things I do are creepy. I say that is because he listens to what other people put in his head. I will not be stopped from doing what I feel helps me. So I keep photos around as it is my house now. I draw from the photos. I still put same old decorations up but this time no one needs to go in the loft because I decided they will go in the wardrobes where I took out my husband’s clothes and squoshed them somewhere else. Because now he isn’t here I do not have to have things how he had decided.
It seems only yesterday it was last Xmas and next week is first anniv when he died. We will do same things only he isn’t there. However, there is a video film of him at Xmas and we always used to play it because his mother is on it.
We can hear his voice too. I will put his photo on the dinner table if just my son is here and when I am alone will light a candle or make a floral tribute to put where he used to sit when he was working. See how it works out.
Whatever gives us comfort is the right thing to do. We all handle it differently. Nobody has ever been where we are, so nobody knows.
Onwards and upwards