Lost my husband 4 months ago and had to step into his shoes to run small farm. Fortunately no livestock to look after but felt overwhelmed organising what had to be done and admin workload continues Feel lost at times when trying to plan a future life. Difficult decisions ahead. Just not sure what i wish for my life now.
Anyone experienced similar situation?
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Hello @Mogs1,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
Hi. I’m not a farming widow but a widow of 10 weeks all the same.
I’m so sorry you are joining us here and I’m sure there will be others who have similar commitments and work to do.
I also have no idea what my future holds now as we were planning on retiring and then travelling after my youngest finished school in 2 years time, but now all those plans are gone. What my future will look like is unknown and scary and I now try not to think too far ahead.
Keep linked in here - this community is a great help and understands your struggles as we are all lost and looking for the way forward
Sending hugs x
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@Mogs1 I’m so sorry for your loss… I lost my partner 5 months ago.
I just want you to know that you’re not alone in trying to do everything on your own, struggling with those decisions, whether big or small!
It’s difficult to ask for help too and I dont have a farm to run…
I sorry I can’t offer practical advice but want you to know you’re not alone x
Not farming but there has been the garden and the allotment plus the work left behind he used to do on the recreation ground.
I went to see it yesterday after having to cope with all the left over things when he died 18 months ago. People forever to ringing me up because bills not paid, action not taken, advice required, keys to be found, record s to be passed over. The allotment didn’t get planted and weeded properly and was half neglected. The garden just about got kept in check but this year has been a struggle with the weather. The cat to care for and the house to maintain with too many jobs not completed.
Cars and machinery to be figured out. Bicycles maintained or sold.
Plumbing broken to be mended.
You name it has been a challenge to know what to do. No working shower. Paperwork galore to sort.
Caring responsibilities for the family. Health issues one after the other. Not a huge farm but feels like some thing like on a smaller scale feeling huge when you don’t have the strength you once had. I kinda get what it would feel like scaled up.
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18 months down the line and I am unsure if I want to keep the allotment as my son struggles but it gets rotated but it is a constant battle with stuff getting eaten by rabbits and keeping fences and stuff protected.
But on the other hand I felt grateful for what we did get. It felt grounded to prick out masses of seeds and water them. To chop and freeze stuff and give some away. I do not know how but still it was a help.
Hi enorac, appreciate both your messages. I m so grateful to have discovered this Sue Ryder app, there are so many helpful postings. Gives me encouragement to face the new obstacles facing me. This season’s weather has caused an explosion of weeds - am trying to ignore those in garden and focus on growing good crops of beans, wheat and barley. Now 6 months since my dear husband suddenly died - still just taking each day as it comes, still unable to look too far ahead.
Yes you have done well. My garden can’t control weeds either this year have stuck plants in containers amongst the pesky weeds to look better and statues or ornaments. Go with the flow. Runner beans ready to go in and horrows bought slug pellets as can’t face the predators eating everything and tomatoes in greenhouse. No cucumbers this year.
Well no rec to worry about this year relief.
Still hacking away myself at bushes and get son to do high bits. Guttering still not repaired after trader never turned up. Then birds nest in their yet again.
Off to Cornwall with son and two grandsons weekend then left there in caravan alone as last year only different place nearer beach this time and hope get weather as last year awful.
Then son collects me end of week. Hope to do my hobby of sketching and painting. Went for two nights on my own last week just ten miles away for break. Still loads not done. But getting out and leaving it more. Got fed up stopping in just thinking. Keep giving up dates. It is interesting even not exactly same. My friend is married to a farmer and he is going to be needing help So she said will call in favours from neighbours to help her as they do that for each other. I buy eggs off them. My son said he is getting more chickens again. The fox always has them when he forgets to lock them away and it upsets me but he is used to it. It is life. It is a concern with the weather playing up again with crops. She has had to diversify. Then one thing goes up other down.