Reaching out to say hello to anyone suffering. Youre not alone x
Thanks, although not nice that is good to hear. I lost my husband very suddenly and unexpectedly 7 weeks ago, he just died in bed next to me. I am so lost. x
Very thoughtful! Sadly it’s a big club we belong to.
There are no words, I imagine … My thoughts are with you, nonetheless, in this emotional vacuum.
My dear Tracy, my heart goes out to you. Like you, my husband died around 4:30 am lying in bed next to me. I performed CPR until the paramedics arrived. They did get his heart going again but too late, he had been down too long. For the next five days my beloved man lay in a coma, hooked up to life support with catastrophic brain damage. The machines were switched off on the 19th June 2017 but he actually died on the 15th. There was no sign of life. The consultant actually said to me “There’s nobody home”.
The shock is indescribable. A fit and healthy man with no previous illness, barely a common cold.
I remember the first days of my loss vividly. That will be where you are now. Take comfort in knowing that there are many of us experiencing the same loss, sad though it is. You are not alone.
The best help I had was from my meeting with the consultant to explain what had happened and how it could happen. To find some kind of understanding of why my man had died helped me enormously.
However, no matter what help we have, we cannot escape our grief, we simply have to move with it. In the early days I didn’t want to move with it, I wanted to stay right there with the agonising pain. I thought if I didn’t feel pain then it would mean I was over him. How wrong I was. I have moved with my grief and I have learned that I will never be over him but I can function again. I can laugh, I can sing, I can dance. None of that means I am over my loss. Grief is forever. I am more in love with my husband now if that’s possible. My heart simply oozes with love until it’s almost at bursting point. I love him, I love him, I love him . He is with me always. I remember saying to one lovely lady that my husband may have died but he’s not dead. That remains true. Xx
Hi all, and thanks for your replies.
Kate, mine was very similar, all was ok in the day and as said before no previous symptoms at all. We ran/run our own business together been to London few days before. At around 11.00 pm in bed asleep I saw his face and knew that this could be it- I started to do CPR and the team arrived and worked on him for 50 minutes which is a long time and of course nothing. It proved that he had ischemic heart disease and I am just waiting for the detailed report. I am so flat in a daze and still in shock as my 2 grown up children are also. I try and keep imagining his words of comfort to me but at the moment it is just not working. He was only 58 when he died. As you all know you feel like dying yourself as there is no point at the moment to anything. I do try and take comfort of what people say, such as it will get better but never go. Thanks gain all. x
You poor souls, the shock of losing your beloved husbands takes a long time to wear off and in most cases it never does.
I found my beloved husband on our bedroom floor, he had died, we had been married 59 years, we were very lucky that we had all those years together, before we were married we had been engaged for 2 years, going out together 2 and a half years before our engagement. Stan was a good, gentle soul, he was kindness personified and he would help anyone, especially if they had fallen on hard times. It is just 6 months ago, since he passed away, I am just coming out of the shock, I will never become used to being without him, we have a daughter and a son each in their 50’s. They live about 80 miles from me in opposite directions, they come and visit whenever they can, work permitting. I am so lucky in so many ways, (although I am registered disabled with multiple health problems) I have good friends and some family who keep in touch.
I am sorry that all of you are suffering like this, grief is horrible and in most cases it lasts for ever.
Love and peace to all of you,
Hi Pam-To respond to your question-Yes, I am suffering, and feel I always will be, I walk around with a hole in my heart, since watching my beloved sister take her last breath, over a year on. I have never known such pain.
This is such a lonely journey. Thank you for reaching out.
I understand completely. It is still raw for me and i think i must tell mum that. I hate wakening up as its the only respite. I dont know what to do as i was her full time carer. I think of different things then end up pulling the duvet over my head. Grief makes you so inpotent. Sending hugs and hope peace comesx
Thank you but I certainly feel alone
I know. You just want that person back and nothing else compares. X
How are you doing? Are you managing to get any respite? Everyone on this site is v supportive which can only do so much but it does help a littlex
It is so difficult as every day is torture at the moment. All you think about is your loved one and what you had and what could have been. When I feel a fraction better it worries me what pain will be coming soon. I am working full time which helps a little but feel like I am floating in the air and not on this planet, alli you think about is the loss and how you will cope without them. As we know, our loved ones would of course want us to be okay and happy and enjoy life but I just do not know how that can ever be.
Best wishes to everyone, have to leave this site because I can’t navigate around it on my I phone
Paul - take care. We’ll be here for you if you come back sometime …
Lost my Husband in February,so know where you are it does not help that others are the same I seem to think it is only me but of course it is not.Lets hope we can get stronger.
If you want to message me feel free perhaps we can help each oher.