I’ve lost my son in 92, my dad in 99, my sister in 2000, a best friend in 2003, then I lost my other sister in 2018, my nephew in 2018 and my mum in 2023.
I heard recently that humans are wired for grief and to lose loved ones and I thought how stupid a statement that was. As with a lot of what I read and myself, I believe it doesn’t get any easier. I am so sick of what I’ve become where I can’t say boo to a goose when I presented to 300 people. I hate my life literally at a time when really I should be enjoying it. Don’t get me wrong I am trying as I am doing a year long cbt course, I also have tried to look for ways to improve. But when it goes dark so do my thoughts every night, I don’t pray I wake up I just believe I am destined for pain. Sorry for the rant. Hope I haven’t put anyone out with what I’ve said