Good evening
My mother-in-law sadly passed away from cancer after a brave and courageous 3 year battle. The funeral is coming up and my 9 year and 11 year want to come to say goodbye to therir nanny. However i am not too sure if they are too young and it will be too upsetting for them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Kind regards
Dan
Personally if they want to go let them go - it helps in the longer term
My son was 12 and my daughter was 7 when my parents died we gave them the choice and when they wanted to come we explained what would happen and gave them both roles in the funeral - my daughter read a poem with my brother and my son shared a memory of playing with them
3 years on they both say it helped them saying goodbye in a formal way.
Winston’s wish is a really helpful website (should have included in original post)
It helped us navigate supporting the kids through a double bereavement and the funeral process.
So you know I’m not a troll my dad died on the 3rd of nov 21 and my mum on the 28th nov 21my dad had prostate cancer and my mum had a brain hemorrhage.
Thank you so much @Lynseylou for replying back and you advice. So sorry to hear about your mum and dad. I have been suprised how resilient my children have been since their nanny passed away. There friends and other family members have been so supportive which has helped.
I agree i think it was been a good way for them to say goodbye and also see how much their nan was loved by so many people
I have heard Winstons wish are very good so i will give them ago, thanks. My mum passed in July 2021 but for you to lose 2 parents in 3 weeks is truly heartbreaking
My kids amazed me - they were very resilient too… more than me I have to say!
We were very clear about what would happen at the funeral and prepared them
My daughter who was the youngest actually benefited the most as she needed a full stop.
The other thing was after the funeral my parents friends made a real effort to tell the kids about their memories of my mum and dad.
I would never describe a funeral as positive but it made it a positive experience if that makes any sense
Winston’s wish was a really helpful in navigating it all.
We were very aware it was not a “usual” situation so we wanted the kids to be able to understand and be able to greave in a healthy way
It was tough times I will admit!
Dan, this is the funeral of their grand mother and I think they should attend.