Ashes and feelings

I lost peter my husband last April to covid suddenly. We were unable to have a large funeral and no wake. Last Sunday 8th aug me and our sons and daughter and grandchildren took his ashes to Bourne where he was born as that was where he wanted his ashes scattered in the lovely park there. We all took turns scattering them then went to a lovely pub to celebrate his life. I looked at the ashes and just thought is this what is left of him and it has upset me all over again and yesterday I couldn’t go out as I felt so bad . I can’t get over this is the end and I will never see him again it hurts so much.


I’m so sorry for your loss. What people forget, family included, is that even though they share your loss their future plans are still in tack. Ours have come to an abrupt end and it’s something we didn’t want. So as well as trying to cope with the grief we are also trying to steer forward without a rudder and no sense of direction and no destination in place.

My husbands ashes still sit on the unit in our bedroom and next year they will be going to the Isle of Wight to be scattered where we put his dads ashes.
I know this is where he wanted them to go, but if I had the choice I would keep them with me……. Even planning that event fills me with dread. If I could just click my fingers and the job be down I would …… but my husband deserves a better goodbye then that from me.
It’s so crazy that when you talk about these things with your better half you never actually think that time will come.

Please take care


Hi Dee64, I’m so sorry for your loss, your right about people and especially family I know my sons and daughter are grieving for their dad but they have a life to get on with we don’t ours was taken away from us they all think I should be getting on and going out and doing things but I don’t want too. I have bought a locket that I can put some of Peters ashes in but all I want is him back. Take care.


Hi, so sorry for your loss dreadful times, I lost my wife in April to cancer she was 47 and my life ended too. Friends and family who were there at the beginning are carrying on with their lives, I very rarely hear from them now, and feel so lonely. I have to keep going for our children but it’s so hard. I have my wife’s ashes and can’t let them go, my wishes are that when it’s my turn I want our ashes to be put together so we will be one again. My thoughts are with everyone going through this terrible time, take care.