Hi, not posted in a while but felt this may be the place that someone would understand my upset and dismay.
My dad died in 1998 at only 52 and where we live was a brand new Crematorium, we chose a memorial garden and had an evergreen tree planted. At the time my mum asked the Crematorium if they would intern his ashes in the garden. Then in 2020 my mum died very suddenly and as the plot was a large garden, I asked for her ashes to be interned again and thats what happened. I bever saw what the ashes lookind like and ecen with our dogs we have lost the ashes were sealed and buried. This Crematorium is set in beautiful landscaped gardens and most plots are smaller than what we bought.
In July, I attended a funeral there and took some flowers for mum and dad, in the plot under the tree was what i thought to be sand covering the grass, so I asked a passing gardener and he said “oh thats someones ashes” I was in disbelief, as I had run my shoe over it and why was it on my plot! I went over to the office and asked what was going on the manager told me that someone must have been in at the weekend and scattered them, as they were in a square and staff always tell people to scatter in a circle! The gardener appeared and said he would go and sweep them away! The manager asked if it could be someone in the family? As there is only myself and brother on my side left I explained no.I came home quite upset and confused. My husband was at the Crematorium this weekamd was astounded to see the ashes were still there, as they were under the tree the rain nor wind had got to them! I called the office and asked what was going on and she assured me it would be dealt with. Not believing her I went today and found the original ashes had soil put over them. But to my dismay there were now two other sets of ashes there! One set is literally on my parents stone. I feel like this is a horror movie, I have visited the plot for over 25 years and never until now have I witnessed scattered ashes. Anyone had anything similar ? What would you scatter a person ashes on someone elses plot, and also what about whose ashes they are?
Hello @Louise_K,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your parents. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
Hi @Louise_K
That must be really distressing.
I’m sorry I don’t have any experience in this so can’t give any informed opinion but I can understand why you would be upset.
Could you ask the crematorium what their policy is for scattering ashes as it seems something has changed either with that or with their management of the site.
I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this and hope you find some resolution
Take care x
OMG this sounds absolutely horrendous, it must have been an awful experience.
I have my husband’s ashes at home with me and when the time comes we’re going to be mingled so I don’t have any recent experience but I know the crematorium where my husband’s family are buried have both plots and general areas. If you buy a plot then only the ashes you have bought it for are interred there. If you don’t want to buy a plot you can have your loved one’s ashes scattered in an area set aside for that purpose but I’ve never heard of scattering a stranger’s ashes on someone else’s plot. It sounds awful and I’m so sorry it’s happened to you. I hope you’ve managed to get something sorted out since you originally posted. xx