Does anyone know any rules about ashes. I intend to take my husbands ashes to Fleetwood as he was in navy and it was close to his heart. 5 months now and we have not done it yet.
I was thinking of October (for various reasons).
My sister in law says I need to release him so he can move on (I keep hearing doors banging). This has really worried me. Can keeping ashes at home stop a person moving on. I am not particularly religious nor was he, I feel very anxious now. I dont think I can go before October. I know people who have ashes 5 years on, also the funeral directors said some people never collect them years after. If the doors are him it doesnt scare me (he would not harm me).
Does this sound mad? Has anyone any ideas please. Also can I split his ashes, people seem to have different views.
My husbands ashes were shared between me and my stepsons .I have my husbands ashes at home ,but you must do what you think is best .
Thank you for replying. I will go in October but may keep a small urn
I still have my husband’s ashes after 11 months he wants them spreading around a big oak tree at the crematorium and this I will do but I was told not to rush into it by a Bereavement councillor as some people do it straight away and have regretted it and I was told I would know the right time when to do it, you do what you think is best about your husband’s ashes I’m sure you’ll find when it’s the right time just listen to your heart
Thank you for your reply
I will be collecting my wife’s ashes at the end of this week (cremation on Wednesday) and all she said was ‘I’m happy to be kept in a cupboard as long as I’m with you’ so I will be holding on to them. As others have said do what you feel is right, that is all that matters - it is between you and your loved one.
I have my husbands ashes at home and they comfort me so i am keeping them here unless my feelings change you will know what to do when the time arrives. Its awful greaving my alan died 27 october and people say its early days. I keep busy that helps but i miss him so much 
Thank you for replying. Yes grieving is awful and in some ways unexpected. Take care and look after yourself.
I go work every day i hate going home my wife passed away in October the day she passed i had to move the day after landlord section 21 eviction then i had my 50th where we was going away then xmax then april 25th wedding anniversary my wifes birthday wow my head is all over i come home sit here and feel lonley and dont k ow what to do
I wish I had an answer for you @Jasonandarleme but I’m still looking for that too. All we can do is take each day as it comes and possibly take a little solace from something, anything.
I lost my husband/soulmate last June and had his ashes put in the memorial garden at our local church in July. At the time I thought it was the right thing to do. We had a rose bush put there to mark the spot. I go up there every week and sit on a bench and reflect and it is a lovely place or was until last week. The local council grass cutting team have mowed right over the rose bush and reduced it to nothing. I just can’t stop crying. I went to the council offices and reported it and the lady on the desk was appalled and said someone would ring me. The lady in charge of the grass cutting team rang me later that day and said she was sorry but these things happen. I know it was only a rose bush but to me and my family it meant something special. I thought I was coping fairly well but now I am back to how I was when I first lost him. Sorry to everyone for your loss. Ann