Ive just collected my husbands ashes. Four weeks since I lost him and I thought I would feel better now he was back home. Instead, I couldn’t grasp that the man I spent 43 years with, my rock, best friend, love of my life, was in a box. Its not that I didn’t know what to expect, I knew everything that would happen. But faced with the reality I went to pieces, worse in some ways, than the funeral. Will this pain and sense of loss never end!!!
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Katy7 - I know it feels like forever since you saw your husband last, but it is only a month. Of course you are going to cry. Cry your heart out.
Picking up the cremains today, my husband died on September 24. Everyone says it is hard, but I think I will be okay. I’ve done it before.
At the moment I have the cremains of 3 people and 3 pets, this will be 4 human cremains. They must leave soon, I can’t hold on to this sorrow anymore. I have no idea where I will put my husband until it is time to bury him at sea which he wanted. Can’t imagine looking at a box which was once my big, strong, manly man.
My heart hurts for you.
Much love.
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I collected R’s ashes on friday the 25th of October. He passed away the 16th of July. I was ok when I arrived home and within an hour I hit rock bottom. I cried and wailed like a wounded animal. I felt really low for a few days. I didn’t expect to react like that. They are no substitute for my lovely, kind and gentle man. Take care and hugs x
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Picked up the cremains and DCs this afternoon and put it all in my husband’s downstairs office, then went for a long walk with my dog. Soon, I will eat and try to chill out in front of a movie although there are none that interest me.
I didn’t cry, but I feel beat-up tired.
Much love.
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My energy just evaporated! I stayed in bed and was really feeling low. I had to get up to feed my 4 dogs. I think I would still be there if it weren’t for them.
Have you cried yet? Be kind to yourself. Take a break and let me know if you find a decent movie xx
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Mgb and Peaches, thanks for your support and hugs. Lying in bed is one thing I try not to do. That makes me feel more depressed and helpless if that’s possible. I have to put the television on just so I can hear people talking about normal things. I find that helps me a bit. Sending love and support as always.
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I have just moved Richards ashes. I told him he can watch the fireworks tonight. I cry every time i talk to him. I am going to do some shopping. I don’t like being out of the house. Hugs x
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No. Despite having about 9 gazillion channels, there is nothing that interests me on TV. I will change that subscription soon. Why pay for something that gives no value to me?
No. I haven’t cried since my husband’s funeral. I get wet eyes when someone first learns of my husband’s death and offers condolences, but I keep them in, change the conversation or make my excuses and walk away.
When my eyes open, I jump out of bed. Otherwise, I might just rot there.
I left my dog outside last night and didn’t notice. He didn’t bark to come in. We are both out of our minds.
Much love to all. May today be better than yesterday.
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I too could stay in bed all day and only get up because I have to look after, feed and walk my dog which actually helps little but feel guilty making him wait to go out because I cannot get it all together. He is so loving and patient. Whats the point in living in such pain and Widows’ fog. Roger was my everything, always in my mind since we met at 18 In 1961. We, Darcy and I, have to walk passed places he sat and rested on our walks because he was so ill at the end, and Darcy dog always looks at that bench when
we pass bye. Roger appears as a spirit sometimes at night not like in dreams I have of us in our travels, at about age 45 and smiling and I smile back and he disappears. I did not believe in the Spirit world but now I wonder if its true. I do hope so then I would be with him when my time comes. I still have his ashes waiting to go with me and Darcy’s when we die and talk to this box which has inside what was once my handsome funny loving husband. Stupid really! Now another black day to get through until I can justify going back to bed to sleep and forget for a while and perhaps dream of him, but that unfortunately does not comfort next morning on waking and finding him not by my side!
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