At a loss

My wife passed away on April 15th.I am nearly two months further on but I feel the loss even more than ever.I can’t stop crying when I am alone because I miss her too much and it is so painful.Is there an end to this suffering because at the moment I cannot see one.I hope there is some sort of softening because if there is not I am not sure what to do .Can anyone point me in the right direction because I don’t know what is


Hi @Dave10

Sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment. I lost my partner on the 15th April after 18 years together. I find that it is getting easier as in I’m not as anxious or overwhelmed as I was at the beginning. Grief comes in waves…I find making sure I push through the feelings and get out and about helps me loads…I could easily hide away and cry all day but I try my best to do things. As I am here and have to live, I need to find a new way forward. A new identity even. I will not live a miserable life, he would have that for me.:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

What’s your situation? Have you a support network? Are you back at work yet? Xx

I am retired so finding it difficult as I am at home most of the day alone which I guess I am finding it difficult.I go out to bowls 3 times a week go shopping but it does not overcome the grief I am feeling at the moment.

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Bless you :hugs:

It’s hard isn’t it, especially as you have a lot of time on your hands being retired. Have you any animals? I have a dog and he’s been a real comfort.

There was a thread on here by @tykey who had some good advice and ways to move through grief. Search his name and check out his thread’s. You may find them helpful.

Is there anything that you would like to try your hand at? Or maybe volunteering? It may help learning a new skill or meeting new people. I know it’s not the life you would have chosen being without your wife but it’s a life you still need to navigate through and to try and find some enjoyment :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I find loneliness the worse I’ve never been alone before. I have people around me but it’s 100% not the same xx

We were together for 46 wonderful years so nothing can replace that.I think I am doing enough at the moment but I still miss her terribly.The winter when bowls finish in September I am not looking forward to.



I know nothing can replace your wife, nothing ever will. You’ll always miss her and think about her. I’m just trying to help you think of you and making your life more bearable :hugs:

Maybe find a hobby to enjoy in the winter so your not totally isolated xx

I’m so sorry for your loss. Nothing can prepare you for the emotions that you’re going to go through when you lose your wife/husband/partner. All you can do is to take it one day at a time, do things in your own time and don’t listen to anybody telling you that you should be ‘moving on’, or anything like that. If you can, try and keep yourself busy, it might be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do but give it a go, it’ll help a bit. Try and surround yourself with friends and family who understand what you’re going through, that will be a massive help to you. Before the bowling season finishes, search out winter indoor sports…darts, dominoes, pool maybe?
I lost my partner of 20 years just before Christmas, so I know what you’re going through.
Find your direction love, that’s what your wife would want you to do. X

So very sorry for your loss.

I think it’s take things at your own pace.

Everyone’s grief has many similarities but also there will be individual parts personal to us.

Sometimes, it is hour by hour or getting through the morning, then the afternoon, then the evening.

Thinking of you and totally understand how you feel.


Thank you for the sweet reply and I agree with you .I guess it is the loneliness whch hurts the most and when you think of your partner the most .All the good things about the relationship come to the fore which makes it worse ! Such is life.

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