I lost my dad in October. He was elderly and a little frail but his mind and spirit were as strong as ever. He lived with my husband and me and I looked after him. I was extremely close to my dad, I was his only child and he brought me up alone after my mum went off with someone else when I was 9. I think that made us even closer and he was always my emotional support. Last Christmas Day my husband had a stroke and he only came home in June. During his hospitalisation my dad’s support and strength helped me survive. Then in August my Dad had a fall, went into hospital, caught COVID and then pneumonia and died. I cannot believe he has gone. It feels like I have a big wound inside me that hurts all the time. I am trying to process my dad’s death but I still have to care for my husband and last week we were told my husband has now developed dementia. I just cannot take any more. If I didn’t love my husband so much and know that he needs me I don’t think I would want to go on. I just feel so frightened, desperately unhappy and exhausted with it all. Now I feel I am condemned to lose my darling husband bit by bit and I don’t know if I am strong enough to cope.
Hello @Yvie,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and for what happened to your husband. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also want to look at this article: Losing a parent - coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Yes I get that. I feel like this and have done so at various points in my life.
These cards get dealt us and we seem to have to play them some how.