Dear all,
At my lowest ebb I posted a message TWICE and each time the judgemental Sue Ryder thought police deleted it. So much for empathy and support. Not even an explanation as to why. How rude! So I’m out of here. What ever happens to me now rests partly on the head of the bloody jobs worth who was playing god. I wonder if this post will be deleted as well?
Love and Light
Geoff x
Hello Geoff,
I read your post before it was deleted
( I think it was the one you’re referring to) All I can say is from your post it was clear how low you are and how much you’re struggling since the loss of your much loved wife. I felt it was brave of you to post so openly and honestly.
If that’s how you feel I think you should be allowed to express it here and can’t understand why it was deleted.
I’ve been a member for a long time but hardly post now because I feel that unless you exude " positivity " you’ll be attacked.
I can only say that I believe there are others on this forum , myself included , who can’t see a future worth having following the deaths of their loved one.
I wish I could say more to help you. Wishing you well, Jx
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I read you’re post also. I can’t understand why it was removed.
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Hi Geoff,
I also read your post, and you should be able to say exactly what you are feeling, that’s what this forum is meant to be all about.
As Dalejackie says, there are so many of us on this forum who can’t see a future without the love of their lives, and that includes me too.
I understand how you feel, please stay with us , we’re all in this together and are feeling everything you say. Take care .
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Yes I agree, there should of been an explanation, not remove it without one.
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THANK YOU EVERYONE for your loyal and understanding responses. My post was a cathartic release concerning my feelings at the time. If a person cant offload in print from time to time whats the point of this forum?
Love and Light
Geoff x
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Be who you are and say what you feel…
Because those that matter…
Don’t mind…
And those that mind…
Don’t matter.
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Sometimes the lower we feel and are able to express it on here the more support we can get from others who have been in the same bad place. Having someone to lift us up when we are in the depths of despair can come just at the time when we are thinking that we can’t get any worse. Geoff999 please go on posting about your bad days and also about your better days. Yes - there will be some. We are all here for each other.
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@Geoff999 I hope you will continue and be allowed to continue to post exactly how you are feeling. We understand because at some time or the other we found ourselves in exactly the same place. It is so hard to find a way through this grief. Take care Geoff
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Please don’t eave Geoff especially so near Christmas.I never take offence at anyone’s post as everyone is so individual and we need the individuality to make us feel normal in our grief. How can anyone be positive in the early stages of grief? What have we got to look forward too? I was looking through a photo album today for the first time in 2 yrs and I found a photo of Ron in his favourite shirt which I have kept. I got the shirt out and I placed the photo in the pocket with a photo of the Island where we got engaged. Then I put the shirt and photo next to his ashes and I sat and sobbed my heart out. It made me realise that any new positivity has just been a facade.I can never be totally happy again.
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Dear Everyone
SR did message me later stating that any post that implies someone might take there own life is not allowed. Apparently because if anyone did go through with it this might have a negative impact on others on the site who might think they were partly responsible. My point is no one would ever know anyway. I’ll still continue to post my friends. But from now on I will always feel somewhat inhibited as to what I say which rather defeats the essence of a site like this.
Love and Light
Geoff x
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Geoff I hope you don’t mind me saying that I agree with Sue Ryder on their reason. I read your post and had no idea how to respond. Then I slightly panicked that you might do something and I wouldn’t have helped you in anyway. I hope you don’t mind me saying that. It’s just another point of view.
It’s so hard to know what to do in these circumstances and SR I guess have guidelines to follow. I do get that you need to get it off your chest but I guess they have a duty of care too
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Hi Angiejo 1 Just to let you know But you probably already know you can have your Ron’s shirts made in to lovely cushions. I have my Ron’s favourite shirts made in to cushions and I love cuddling them at night. Love and hugs to you. Xx. Carol xx
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Dear Jooles
I can see your point perfectly my friend. And I of course don’t mind. I was simply at a very low ebb on that occasion. As I mentioned in an earlier post it was a cathartic release. It was how I felt at the time, a kind of mind scenario acted out in print. I wouldn’t have the courage to take my own life in reality but of course nobody could possibly have known that. And I thank you for your kind concern.
Love and Light
Geoff x
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I’m glad you were not offended. I do get you need a release too. I hope you continue to get it all off your chest and know that someone is always listening.
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I didn’t read your post but the idea of dying has appealed to me many times as I suspect it has to others. By letting out your feelings in what should be a safe space it probably stopped you from doing anything. Sometimes I think
Grief is like a pressure cooker and we need to release the steam valve.
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Every night when I go to bed , I hope I don’t wake up. I lost my husband suddenly a year next month, he went out to work and never came back.
Life is nothing without him, I just trudge through each day existing.
With the first year coming up, I’m struggling, and we need to say how we feel and release that steam valve , without being judged.
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Hi everyone,
I just wanted to clarify our guidelines on mentions of suicide and self-harm. Discussing thoughts and feelings about these issues is allowed (for example, things along the lines of “I don’t want to be here any more” or “I wish I was with him/her”). We understand the importance of having somewhere to express these feelings and get support.
We do take down posts that contain where someone discusses a plan, intention or methods of suicide. This is because we have to consider the well-being of the community as a whole, and the impact on others who might be reading it.
We will do our best to make sure that anyone discussing suicide or self-harm is pointed in the direction of support that they can access in addition to the community.
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Yes, absolutely, you can discuss suicides or murders that have taken place (where it’s relevant) and we do have users here who are bereaved by those causes and will, of course, need to discuss that fact.
The only exception would be if someone went into specific detail about a method of suicide. (The Samaritans advise that news organisations, for example, don’t do this when reporting on suicides, to avoid influencing vulnerable people). But, in those cases, we can normally edit this detail out and leave the main part of the post.
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Dear All
I seem to have inadvertently sturred up a hornets nest with my original post which was never my intention. So from now on I’ll keep my truly private and personal feelings to myself when feeling down. Personally I’ve found in the distant past that counselling only dealt with tertiary issues and despite feeling OK for a short while afterwards never really got to the root cause of the problem. This was in respect of clinical depression which was eventually dealt with very effectively by SSR’s. ( Research on Google) Thats not to imply in any way that counselling for others won’t work. But I need to find a site where like minded people can openly talk to each other about suicidal thoughts that pop in now and again whether with intention or a release of unwanted feelings - BUT without censorship!
Clearly Sue Ryder doesn’t cater for that level of discussion. I’ll still remain on this site but with certain reservations as to its full usefulness.
Love and Light
Geoff x
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