Auto-Pilot

It’s probably too soon to be writing this, but I lost my Dad yesterday morning very suddenly.

His name is Ian and I can’t describe the pain, the shock, and the disbelief we’re all feeling.

He’s been a Truck driver for over 30 years, and dedicated his life to my Mum and me and my 3 siblings. He was a gentle giant, and never once did anything for himself. I spent all day Saturday with him helping him bring his tourer caravan home from our seasonal pitch, Sunday he potted around his garden, seeing to his Fish pond and mowing his grass.

He got up for work Monday morning, got half way to Rotherham on the Motorway, pulled over into a lay-by and passed from a heart attack.

The police came to our house and woke my brother up to tell him. My other brother travelled to the school I work and pulled me out of class to tell me in Reception. I screamed half the place down. It doesn’t feel real, and I don’t know of it ever will. I’m running on auto-pilot trying to keep strong for my Mum and my older sister and her baby boy. How can we carry on without him?

3 Likes

Hi KMT,

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad very suddenly too from a freak incident 2 months ago. The shock and disbelief from losing somebody significant is unbearable. I still, 2 months on can’t believe that my dad is gone just like that. It is still raw for me and I don’t believe I will ever come to terms with the shock.

I was also very much on auto pilot in the immediate aftermath. I was the level headed calm person in the family. I have been the main support for my mum - who has been very lost, heartbroken and completely grief stricken. I have helped with funeral arrangements, finances and informing companies of my dads death. I found being practical and doing things helped initially but when all of that was over I almost had a second wave of grief when reality hit.

I don’t really have any advice because I am struggling still. I have good days when I think I’m ok but then everything will hit me all over again and I just can’t believe this happened to us. I understand feeling like you can’t go on without him. I don’t know how my family will continue without my dad. I think all I can say is take things one day at a time, don’t try and tackle everything all at once. Let yourself go through all the emotions you are feeling and don’t try and suppress anything. You will go through such a range of emotions and symptoms because of the grief. Don’t be hard on yourself, be kind to yourself and give yourself time. I still haven’t returned to work yet as I am supporting my mum as well as working through my own grief. Being away from work and not worrying about that has been a great help.

Again I am so sorry you are going through this and it is so soon after losing him. Take care xx

KMT1 and Flo5

sorry to hear of your loss. I can’t offer any advice but send mega hugs as my dad passed away few weeks ago and am absolutely devastated and :broken_heart:. I can’t get my head around it at all that my beautiful dad is no longer here. I used to call him every night on the phone. still not back at work as dont feel ready. everyone keeps saying look after yourself. All I do is cry and the pain is horrendous :green_heart:.